Week 3

Tomorrow ends week 3 of 1st grade.

It has been a long 3 weeks.

• I've sent at least 5 e-mails to this year's teacher & 2 to last year's.
• I spent 2 hours copying/collating/stapling & a whole 5 minutes in her class.
• I spent 2 hours trying to listen to administrators and teachers share as people all around me thought it'd be better to carry-on their own conversations than listen to those up front.
• I've carried a 2 year old to and from sister's school twice a day for 12 days now.
• I've spent too much time sitting at the table, trying to get homework done with sister while convincing brother not to add his own touches to said homework.
• I've prayed daily that my sweet girl would find joy in each day and then quizzed her on the good she found her in day.
• I've had to remind her daily that she really does want to go to school, that she likes school, that it is a fun place to go.
• I completely forgot about her swimming lessons last week until the next morning.
• I've managed to pack a well-rounded lunch for 12 days now, each day containing a different combination of the same 5 rotations of food. 
• I received a text from Grandma telling me that my daughter got moved down from green and said daughter told her, "My Mom is going to cut my arm off". (Grandma then had a talk with her about why we can't say things like that.) 
• I've had to endure more tears and drama than I can calmly handle. Girls are such drama and apparently 1st grade is exhausting!
• I thankfully remembered picture day. I remembered at the last minute to send a check and made sure to put her in a blue shirt instead of red this year. (oh the joys of uniforms)
• I've consumed way too many cups of coffee and glasses of Coke. (liquid energy anyone?!)
• I've had many people try to convince me the last few weeks that we should change her class, but I'm not convinced. (or maybe I just don't want to be "THAT Mom")
• I've had to daily commit my baby girl to her Maker & King, trusting that HE knows her best and then consciously choose to rest confidently in HIS love and plan for her life.

I'm sure there are many more stories and adventures that I've forgotten, but I am too tired to stay up and capture them. This Mama is tired and worn out and so is everyone else in the family. Who knew this new grade would be so much work!?

Five Minute Friday: Find

Most evenings, once my husband gets home from work, the kids head out to the playground in the backyard while I start to get dinner ready. Usually my daughter is out swinging and my little guy is right below the kitchen window, playing in the water. However, on Wednesday evening, before my husband or I got out to the backyard, my daughter discovered a pair of roller-skates in our garage. They were hand-me-downs she had gotten from her cousin awhile ago but had forgotten about them. I walked into the garage to her putting the skates on her bare-feet (they are the kind that go over your tennis shoes). I told her that now was not the time to roller skate and that she'd need Mommy or Daddy to be out there with her, helping her. 

I work in a pediatric emergency room and I can't tell you the number of kids I see who have fallen from their skates and have a broken arm or wrist. I explained to my daughter that in order to roller-skate, she'd need to have shoes & socks on and she'd have to wear a helmet. I explained to her how it is very easy to get hurt on skates and told her that I'd like her to wait until another day when we could be there with her, to catch her in case she falls. She didn't like my answer. 

She stormed in the house & shut the door to her room. A few minutes later, she came out with her tiny backpack on and told me she was running away. I told her, "be safe and just don't leave the yard". About 20 minutes later dinner was done so I headed to the backyard to round up the kids. I quickly found our son at the water table but when I went out to the playground, my daughter wasn't there. I figured she'd have climbed up the top of the playground and set up camp up there. She wasn't out there. She wasn't on the side-yard, she wasn't hiding in the slide or in our little playhouse. I walked to the other side of the house where the gate was open just slightly. 

My heart begin to beat faster and I couldn't believe I hadn't heard the gate. (Our gate makes an awful noise as it opens as it scrapes the ground.) Just before I got to the gate to look out, I notice her feet sticking out from behind the trashcans, right next to the gate. When I told her that I had found her, she told me all about how she ran away to the light-post (her boundary just up the street) and then once she got there she took out her picture book of our family and decided to come back. When I questioned her about that, she told me, "just kidding". 

I explained to my daughter how sad I would have been if she had truly run away. I tried to explain to her that she could have gotten hurt or kidnapped or attacked by a dog and that I would be so scared if I couldn't FIND her. She told me she was sad that she couldn't roller-skate but she was glad that I had found her. 

Sometimes in life it would be a lot easier to run away when we don't like what we've been given or we don't like the answer from our boss or spouse. But ultimately, we all want to be found. We want to know that we matter, that someone missed us. We want someone to FIND us and pull us out from our hiding, wrap us in their arms, and tell us that we are loved and valuable. Is there anyone in your life who needs to be found? Who needs to know they matter?

Five Minute Friday: Learn

Learn. Such an appropriate word as my oldest went back to school this week. It has been a week of learning for all of us. What are we learning?

I am learning to let go. To let go of control and trust that she will be okay each morning as she finds her way to her line amidst all the big kids.

She is learning to be brave. To let go of my hand and confidently make her way to that line.

I am learning to speak up. To voice my concerns to her teacher and to ask for a little help for my sweet girl and her friends as they adjust.

She is learning to be independent. To be away from her brother who has quickly become her best friend and favorite playmate.

I am learning to be present. To fully listen to her stories. To engage in play with little brother while sister is at school.

She is learning to work hard. To understand and speak more Spanish as she so desperately wants to communicate with her teacher as she is convinced her teacher speaks no English. ;)

I am learning to be disciplined. To run the dishwasher each morning. To wake up early to run or commit to exercise each day...even if it's hot. To find a few minutes to journal and be in the Word.

She is learning to focus on the task at hand. To sit down and get her homework done so she can play. To get herself ready in the mornings. To remember her backpack and necessary things to get out the door.

We are all learning a lot and it has been a big week full of adjusting to a new routine & rhythm. The learning curve won't stop just because the 1st week is over. We will continue to learn to balance life and to find a new way of doing our days. After all, isn't life a constant learning process?!

First Grade

Today begins yet another chapter for our family. My sweet girl starts 1st grade today. Today is her first full-day at school as last year was only 1/2 day. This year was just as hard as last year on this Mama...maybe even harder. It is such a scary/hard thing to entrust your baby to a complete stranger. To trust that this total stranger will love your child, will nurture your child, will embrace what makes them special, and to foster them and grow them into an amazing kid...trust is so hard!

So thankful Daddy got to go in to work late so he could go with us this morning!

As we walked with her on campus I was a bit overwhelmed the chaos. They created a fun environment of red-carpet, balloons, DJ, photo-booth, etc, but there were kids and parents EVERYWHERE! 

We found her teacher and said "hi" but her Spanish was hard to understand. It's so hard as a parent to remain un-biased and to not pass judgement based on 1st-appearances, 1st-meetings, etc. Thankfully, as we waited we got to see her Kinder teacher & give her a big hug...She was a welcomed sight for all of us!  Then we waited some more amongst the chaos and all the kids searching for their teachers and trying to figure out where to line up. Her teacher was the last to make it out to the blacktop so her class was the last bunch trying to squeeze in between the other classes who were already lined up.

But she took it like a champ. She held her head high and went for it. I think I was more nervous and anxious than she was. And so, we let her go once again. We watched her follow her teacher into her classroom and then we walked away. It took everything in me not to let the tears fall, but I reminded myself that ultimately, she isn't mine anyway. She belongs to her Creator, to the King of the Universe, to the one who knows her best and who has BIG plans for her. And so, as we walked away, I surrendered my precious gift once again.

I hope these next 6.5 hours go by quickly!!! I miss her already!!

Five Minute Friday: Here

Today is one of those days where I'd rather be anywhere but HERE.

The day started at 5:30am (the time my son thinks is an acceptable time to wake up) and I knew from the start that it was going to be a long day. It's been one of those days where I swear the kids have been out to make me crazy and get on my every last nerve. They've succeeded. I have been grouchy and tired all day and my attempts at resetting the day haven't worked.

It's been one of those days where I've felt tired and overwhelmed. I should have been cleaning my house as it looks like a tornado touched down. I should've done the dishes since they are piled high on the counter. I should've got more loads through the wash but I still have a mountain of clean clothes waiting to be folded and put away from the last time I decided to tackle the laundry. I should've done a lot of things today, but instead I just wished for a reset, to be taken away from this place, to find peace and quiet...to be anywhere but HERE.

I can't tell you how many times I've check Facebook, Instagram, and e-mail...all attempting to escape the HERE and now. Somehow, reading about other's days and lives lets me escape reality for a bit and pretend that life is not as crazy or hectic. It allows me to zone out for a few minutes and avoid being HERE. Not the greatest way to cope with crazy but sometimes it is so needed. After being followed EVERYWHERE and being whined at, nagged at, told "no", ignored, etc., anywhere but HERE sounds so amazing!

But HERE is where I am. HERE. In the middle of messy and chaotic. In the middle of two kids who are stir-crazy and bored. HERE. HERE in the midst of reality that isn't very pretty or fun on this particular day. But HERE is where HE has placed me and HERE is where I should be. Sometimes it is SO hard to be HERE, to be present in the day-to-day monotony and madness. And yet, even as I write this, I know my attitude needs changing. I know my heart needs to find joy in being HERE, with the amazing kids God has given me, in the house He has blessed us with (no matter how messy it may be), with the life HE has gifted me.

So, HERE I am.

How do you reset when you desperately want to escape being HERE?