Christmas!

The closer we got to Christmas this year, the more excited I got! Jaye had the week of Christmas off so he and Hope got to play together every day! On Wednesday the went to Disneyland together and Jaye says it was pretty great! He took her on Peter Pan, Pirates, Haunted Mansion Holiday, Small World and she even got to go on Dumbo and the Carousel TWICE!!! I love that they had special time together, just the 2 of them! On Thursday we went to Sea World together and it was great! Hope loved the penguins, just like her Daddy! We all went to see Santa together and Hope could have cared less...she wanted a candy cane and wanted to play! We had a great day being outside and enjoying all the great animals God made!!

Christmas Eve we went to church for the family service @ 4:30 and Hope managed to sit through the whole thing, thanks to lots of toys and Daddy's iPod. After church we had coffee with our friends and Hope enjoyed running around Starbucks and hiding from her friends. We spent the evening at my folk's house for our traditional Fruit Soup and Lefse. I think I've had that meal every Christmas Eve since I was old enough to eat. I love it. I don't even think its the taste I love as much as it is the tradition and the specialness of it! We let Hope open her gifts from her Great Aunt & Uncle and from her Great Grandparents and she was happy as could be! Both involved train toys and she loved them! Once we got her new Christmas PJs on we headed home so Jaye and I could get things ready for morning. Once we got things set up we finally made it to bed at midnight.

Christmas morning I woke up @ 4:30 and then again @ 7:30...excited for what the day would hold. Hope slept til 8:30 and then the fun began! She noticed her presents on the fireplace first. She started the morning trying to open the paper with her teeth but by the end she had it down. She'd open her gifts part way, then peek inside to see what was waiting for her. She was so excited about each one. Finally, after we opened all her gifts and she gave Daddy his gift, we convinced her to go to the playroom. As she turned the corner her eyes got big and all she could say was "HOUSE" as she ran to her new playhouse. We spent a good chunk of our morning in her playhouse and at one point all 3 of us were in there playing! It was definitely worth the drive back in October when we picked it up!!!

Christmas afternoon both of our families came over and we enjoyed the rest of the day with them. I love that Hope gets both sets of Grandparents at once and that we don't have to split the day up. She loved having everyone's attention and loved playing with everyone! She absolutely LOVED every gift she was given and played and played all day long! It was definitely an amazing day and I am so grateful for the time we spent together as family!

Pictures coming soon....

Hope's 1st Birthday Shutterfly Book!

Click here to view this photo book larger

Skubic Wedding

Jaye's cousin, James, got married on December 4th. Jaye grew up next door to James and his sister, Gail, so this was a very special day! Jaye was the best man so he was busy doing wedding stuff all day. I managed to get Hope down for a quick nap after running errands and she was quite the grouch when I woke her up to get her dressed...hence the bink in the picture below...I was willing to do anything in order to keep her happy!

Here we all are with James, just before the wedding started.

We had to get a family picture in as we were all dressed up and even a bit color-coordinated too!

Hope and I sat with Jaye's folks @ the wedding. Hope was happy to see Grandma & Grandpa!

Here's all of the cousins that were in the wedding party: Gail, Jaye, James, and Joe.

Michelle, James' new wife, has a really sweet daughter, Alyssa. Alyssa discovered the disposable cameras on the tables and was quite the litlte paparazzi! I had so much fun watching Alyssa throughout the reception. She crawled under the wedding party's table several times, hiding under the table cloth. She danced and danced with everyone and just had a blast all night!
Towards the end of the reception I got to finally hang out with Jaye and help decorate the getaway car! James helped decorate our car when we got married and thought it was a brilliant idea to put confetti everywhere, even in the vents...we repayed the favor and did the same!

We had a great time celebrating James and Michelle and are so excited for them!!!

Conversations with Hope...the navigator.

I think Hope's future may entail map-making, being a tour guide, or maybe even a navigator. I don't know if "photographic memory" is the right word for it, but I am blown away by her. Here is how our drive home from the hockey game goes:

Hope: (as soon as we are in the car) "Mommy, bink? D? Mickey Mou?"
Me: "Yes Hope, the Disney bank is coming."(there is a Partners credit union across the street that uses the same font as "Disney") "Is that where Mickey keeps his money?"
Hope: "Yeah." "Mommy, caa caa?"
Me: "No Hope, the Castle picture is all gone." (there used to be a Disney billboard next to our on-ramp)
Hope: "Hockey? Hona?"
Me: "Yes Hope, we saw hockey at Honda Center."
Hope: (as we pass Honda Center) "Mommy, monkey?"
Me: "Is the monkey coming? Let's see." (The Honda dealer off the 57 usually has a giant inflatable monkey)
Hope: "Yets shee" (let's see)
Me: "The monkey isn't there today Hope."
Hope: "No-ah. Mommy, Ma Wer?" (as we get on the 91)
Me: "Yes Hope, Small World is coming."
Hope: "Ma Wer coming."
Me: "Here it comes"
Hope: "Yay!!!!!"..."Mommy, caa caa? Yites? Ry?"
Me: " Yes Hope, we'll see the little castle with the lights." (Mini golf course just after the small world banner has a castle with lights)
Hope: (as we pass the castle) "Ry Mommy".
Me: "The Fry's Ride?"
Hope: "Yeah". (She thinks the sign for Fry's Electronics is a ride sign) "Cane?"
Me: "Yes Hope, there's the crane." (they are building a new Kaiser off of the freeway and there is a big crane just after Fry's)
Hope: "Moah?"
Me: "There isn't any more honey."
Hope: (15 minutes later) "Mommy, coss?"
Me: "Yes Hope, there's the cross." (there's a lit up cross up on a hill just pass the 241)
Hope: (5 minutes later) "Mommy, boon?"
Me: "Yes Hope, the balloon is coming." (there's a store with a big hot air balloon on their roof. She knows exactly when it is coming.)
Hope: "Apple? Boon!!!" (we pass the apple sign on one side of the freeway and then the balloon right afterwards.)
Hope: (5 minutes later, just pass the 15) "Gampa house?"
Me: "We aren't going to grampa's house today Hope. Yes, that is where it is."
Hope: (2 exits later) "Mommy, Ry? Choo choo?"
Me: "Yes Hope, look for the rides (Castle Park) and choo choo" (train station).

She has our route memorized and knows just when we are getting to each item. Our ride home was dark tonight and she knew just before each one that it was coming. I am amazed with her memory and sense of direction/knowledge of where we are at.

T-R-O-U-B-L-E

Hope is up to all sorts of mischief and trouble these days!!! She is all about testing Mom and Dad to see what she can get away with. She's also really good at selective hearing and ignoring us when she is being naughty. We love her to death, but sometimes she is sure full of tar!!!

New words are coming daily and she is putting them together to make sentences. We had dinner with my folk's on Sunday and all of the sudden Hope busts out with "Mo Peez Gamma". She also added "calculator" to her vocabulary, thanks to Great Grandma. She now asks for "Sheshee" (spaghetti) and "maca maca" (mac n cheese). She is very selective about her music these days and every time we get in the car she asks for "hot dog", "Cow", or "monkey song". She has learned a bit of Jingle Bells and likes to walk around singing "Jinga Bail" over and over again! She has somehow discovered Toy Story, even though we haven't showed it to her. She really likes Woody. We picked up some fun Christmas socks at Target on Saturday and Hope had to have "Toe Stoy" socks! The last few mornings I've woken up to Hope jabbering away in her crib. I love to lay in bed and listen to her talk away. I wish I knew what she was talking about and thinking! Hope has become quite the little parrot as well lately...she's quick to repeat words and things she hears us say...uh oh!

Anyway, there's a quick update so I don't forget what she is up to.

Oh yeah, we FINALLY found our Flip video camera so hopefully we'll get some new videos of her up soon!

What in the world is a Child Life Specialist?!

So, I haven't actually gotten a chance to watch this segment as my computer is LAME, but I hear it's great. I guess Matt Lauer, from The Today Show, spend a day as a Child Life Specialist. So...if you've ever wondered what I do, hopefully this will help. (if not, ask me) Hope it's a good depiction of Child Life!

http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/33491735/vp/40313468#40313468

Totally Rad 80s Party!

So, I turned 30 last summer. I had told Jaye that I thought it'd be fun to have an 80s skating party to celebrate...we tried 2 different times to plan the party but the dates just weren't working for our friends and family. Well, the more I thought about it, the more I still wanted to do the 80s party. So...thanks to Jaye, and lots of our amazing friends and family, we finally had our 80s party! Jaye and I searched high and low for our costumes and I LOVE how they turned out! Here are some pictures from our party...

Jaye did my amazing makeup! He's pretty good!

Yeah, he's a pretty hot rocker!

True love on skates!

Hope was too little skate, but she LOVED running all over the rink! It was hard to keep up with her and keep holding her hand while on skates!

We really did try to get a good family picture...Hope wasn't really cooperating...

My amazing friend Karyn was a good sport and sported some 80s gear too!

After the skating rink we had everyone over to our house for dinner and cake. The little ones played so well together and thought it was fun to "talk" to each other on their phones! It was so fun having other kids and families around and I love that our house has space for the kids to play and yet another space for the grown-ups to sit around and talk. Every time we have a party or get-together Jaye and I always talk about how fun it is to have all of our favorite people in the same place, at the same time! I am so thankful for all of our friends and for our amazing families!!! So, it may have been almost 6 months later, but happy birthday to ME!

What's New?!

I am enjoying Hope so much these days! I am so proud of her and the little girl she is! She is full of wonder and curiosity and is quite funny too!

In the past week Hope has expanded her vocabulary by leaps and bounds! She has become quite the talker and story-teller lately! Up until recently, a lot of words were just the consanant sound they began with. Now Hope is using multiple syllables for words and is putting words together to tell us things. A few of my favorites are: "Oh Too-dles", "Mama Car!", "Table", "Mi Mou" and "Mi Mou Par" (Mickey Mouse Park), "Shereal", "Srend" (friend), etc. She gets so excited now when she starts telling her story and I love it! She is just verbal with everything now! When she plays hockey around the house she says "go go go" as she hits the ball with her stick. She loves the "Hot Dog" song from Mickey Mouse Clubhouse and walks around singing "hot dog" and then mumbles some other stuff as she dances around the house. She is in love "Ayel" (Ariel) and can spot her out anywhere. She loves the pirate song on her Disney movie and walks around singing it.

She's now telling us what she wants to eat for dinner (not that we have that many choices) and then actually eats what she chooses. She loves to snack and asks to have her snacks at her little table. Her new favorite thing is sitting inside of our ottomans/cubes...she'll sit in there for a good 10 minutes, playing with whatever toys she's brought inside. My car is quickly becoming very full of toys and things as she insists on bringing various items with her on our outings. Tonight's items of choice: blankie, a balloon, and a pink sparkly princess shoe. She tells us when she wants to go to bed or take a nap...so nice!!! Today she really like snuggling under a fleece blanket while sitting on the chair.

I just love this stage/age!! We have so much fun together and I am so thankful for my mornings and days off with Hope! It is a blessing to be her Mommy and spend my time with her!

Holidays & Traditions

The holidays are quickly approaching and I find myself thinking a lot about what I want from them. Growing up we didn't have many traditions other than having a fruit soup and lefse (Scandinavian) on Christmas eve and getting new PJs to wear that same night. As I think about Thanksgiving and Christmas coming up, I have this desire to be intentional about assigning meaning to both of these days.

In the latest Pottery Barn Kids catalogue they have a Thanksgiving tree that I love! I refuse to spend the $70 they want from it, but I definitely want to make my own for next year. The idea is that you create a tree with a pocket for each day of November. Then, each day you write down what you are thankful for and put it in the pocket. I just love that it is an intentional act of remembering our blessings and all we have been given. Goal for next Thanksgiving...create my own "Tree of Thanks".

A friend recently opened a discussion on facebook by posting the follwing,

"wondering what you're doing during the Holidays to make them less about our wish list and more about loving others"

This got me thinking. As I read through her friend's responses and ideas/traditions, I found a few I really like. I've always thought it would be fun to make Christmas day a celebration of Jesus' birth and Jaye and I have talked about how it would be fun each year to bake a cake and decorate it and celebrate Jesus' birthday! On my friend's page, someone posted that each year, their kids get 3 gifts. After all, Jesus was brought 3 gifts from the Magi. I love the idea of simplifying the present part of Christmas! Don't get me wrong, I love giving gifts and I tend to go a bit overboard...but do we really need more stuff? I like the idea of reading the Christmas story on Christmas morning and then tying in the gifts to the wisemen bringing 3 gifts to Jesus. What would life look like if Christmas was brought back to the true meaning and became more about the baby in the manger than the gifts under the tree?!?

I want us to be intentional as a family about celebrating the gifts we have been given and about celebrating the greatest gift of all that came in the form of a tiny baby...

This is just me thinking out loud...I haven't even had a chance to talk to Jaye and get his take on this....

Conversations with Hope, Part 2

Today was another great day! Hope and I stayed in our PJs until at least noon. We tried sidewalk chalk for the first time this morning and Hope seemed to love it! We played outside in our PJs and it was glorious! (except when a new neighbor came to introduce herself...oh well, I doubt she really cared) I decided to take Hope to Disneyland this afternoon after her nap and before picking Jaye up for the Duck's game. We parked at Downtown Disney as I knew it'd be a quick trip and I thought I'd be really smart and take the monorail in. Well, we did take the monorail in, but it wasn't the brightest decision as "monorail blue" wasn't working properly and we had to wait almost 30 minutes before we finally boarded "monorail orange" and left for Disneyland. Oh well, life is about the journey, right?!? Anyway, we only had time for 1 ride by the time got in the park so we tried the rockets in Tomorrowland as that line is always short. We waited a bit and talked about the snow on the castle while we waited. Once we got up and going in the rockets Hope wasn't so sure, but she did great! All night, Hope has been talking about our day...Here's our conversation:

Hope: Mama, D?
Me: Yes Hope, we went to Disney today.
Hope: Mama, Marma?
Me: The monorail?
Hope: Yah. Car?
Me: Yes, we saw the cars when we were in the monorail.
Hope: In. Anaw?
Me: Yes, in the monorail. Another car?
Hope: Yah
Me: Yes Hope, we saw another car.
Hope: Rocka?
Me: Yes honey, we went on the rockets.
Hope: Hope?
Me: Mama and Hope went on the rockets together?
Hope: Yah. Up up.
Me: Yes, we went up up in they sky.
Hope: No?
Me: Yes Hope, we saw snow on the castle.
Hope: Cole?
Me: Yes, snow is cold.
Hope: Shree?
Me: The Christmas tree?
Hope: Yah, yites?
Me: Did you see the lights on the tree?
Hope: Yah. Mama, marma?
(repeat)

As soon as we picked up Jaye from the train station, Hope tried to tell Jaye all of the things we saw, complete with "Two Ry", telling him we went on 2 rides. She is quite the conversationalist!!

Unfailing Love

"But I trust in Your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in Your salvation.
I will sing to the Lord, for He has been good to me."
-Psalm 13:5&6

Thankful

Many friend are posting something they are thankful for each day this month. I don't know that I'll get around to it each day, so here is my list...all at once!

1. Hope. Each day she brings so much joy to my life and makes me laugh! She is so full of life and curiosity and I love getting to be a part of the learning process with her!
2. Jaye. Everyday I am blessed to crawl into bed next to my best friend. He gets me and loves me no matter what! He works so hard to provide for our family and cares for our home and our hearts.
3. My Parents. My parents have always been a great example of what it means to follow God's call and live by faith. My parents watch Hope 3 days a week while I go to work and I am so thankful for the time and love they pour into her.
4. My Brother. Not everyone gets to really appreciate their siblings as they grow up. Because of our age difference, I have enjoyed truly seeing who he is and is becoming. I am a proud sister as he is such a good kid with a kind heart!
5. Extended family. I now get to see my Grandma at least once a week and I love that she is around. Jaye's parents are wonderful and I love our time with them. I have lots of family still around, even if they live far away.
6. Mentors. There are a handful of people who have shaped me and taught me so many invaluable lessons as I've grown up. I am thankful for the time they gave to me.
7. Friends. I have been blessed with a few best friends and a handful of other great friends!
8. My job. I love what I do. I love my job, I love my staff, I love the ED! It is a blessing to love and look forward to work each day!
9. My home. It has been so much fun to have a house of our own the past 2 1/2 months! I love having space. I love having a yard. I love that this is OUR house!!!
10. My car. I am driving the car I always wanted. It is dependable and practical and I love it.
11. Facebook. I know it's silly, but I love being able to stay somewhat connected with friends and family who are out of the area.
12. Sunshine.
13. Disneyland. We have so many fun memories and have had so many amazing family days thanks to our Disney passes. I love it!
14. Our church. It's so important to be fed spiritually and I am thankful that Hope loves going to church and is already learning about the Bible.
15. Candy.
16. K-Cups. Little did I know a few years back how fabulous it is to make 1 cup of coffee at a time and to be able to enjoy such yummy flavors!
17. Desire. I am grateful for the renewed desire I've discovered for spending time with my Creator. I am learning and I love it.
18. This probably should have been 1st, but I am thankful for faith. I am thankful to have a Maker who knows me inside and out and who has amazing plans for my life!
19. Converse. I love variety and I love having fun shoes to wear!
20. Wind Chimes. I discovered windchimes on a trip to Texas to visit a dear friend. There is something so wonderful about hearing them chime and watching the wind.
21. Guatemala. A part of my heart is still there and I cannot wait for the day when we can live there and call Guatemala home.
22. Spanish. I am so thankful that I was able to learn Spanish. I love being able to communicate at work and I love hearing others speak the language!
23. Christmas trees. I know it's not that season yet, but there I just love the sparkling lights and ornaments that tell stories of where we've been and what we've done!
24. My bed. I love crawling in bed at night, and snuggling in under the covers. I love our cozy bed.
25. Closed doors. I was thinking yesterday about various doors that God has closed for me and how as a result of doors being closed, I've found something new and better! His plan is so much better than mine!
26. Girl-friends for Hope. We have lots of friends who are boys, whom I love to death, but there is something really fun about Hope having friends who are girls. She can play dress up with them or princess with them as she gets bigger and that makes me excited!
27. Jeans and t-shirts. As much as I try to find "grown-up" clothes and as much as I think I want something new and different to wear, I keep coming back to jeans and t-shirts. I think, at my core, I am a jeans and t-shirt girl.
28. Ribbons & bows. A ribbon in your hair makes a ponytail fun! A ribbon or bow makes a last minute knot on your head look like you actually tried!
29. Crockpots. I need more recipes, but I love that you can throw some ingredients in a container and have a meal with little to no work.
30. My flat-iron. I know it's a bit vain, but whoever created the flat-iron was a genius. My hair is a funky not-curly and not-straight, but somewhere in between and it just doesn't work. I love being able to straighten my hair and have it look smooth and under-control!

Happy Halloween!!!

Hope is all about Minnie Mouse so we figured this would be a fun costume for her! She loved it!

We originally planned on carving pumpkins as a family, but Hope wasn't very into it and wanted to go to bed. I made a Kai-Lan pumpkin, Jaye made Jack Skelington, and Hope had a cat pumpkin.

She wasn't sure what to think of Dad cutting up her pumpkin.

On Halloween we went to downtown Claremont for their little carnival. Hope liked playing the games and then picking prizes. I think we ended up with 9 pencils that she chose!

Here's Hope with her friends Violet and Abigail. It is impossible to get all 3 to look at the camera! Aren't they cute though! I love that Hope has friends who are girls!

Gotta love the poofy skirts on all three!

After Claremont we surprised Jaye's folks by showing up with Hope in costume. We played at their house for awhile and then took part in our first neighborhood event. We enjoyed meeting our neighbors and sitting around the fire while the kids (mostly jr. high and high school) went trick-or-treating. Our neighbors next-door made chili and amazing deserts and we sat around enjoying the evening. Since it was next-door we took Hope home to bed and brought the monitor back with us. It was a fun night and we are excited for our next neighborhood event...Christmas progressive dinner!

19 Months (plus 7 days)

If I don't take time to stop and write what Hope is up to, I will forget. I wish my memory was better. Here's what Hope is up to:

-Hope still loves all things "D" (Disney). Up until Weds. she'd point out the Disneyland billboards and talk non-stop about them. (On Weds. they were gone as Halloween is now over...she cried and cried)
-Her favorite shows are Mickey Mouse Clubhouse (especially the part during the opening song when Donald comes out in the hand balloon), and Handy Manny. She asks for both.
-Still not so adventures when it comes to eating. We have oatmeal every morning, and then other meals consist of: dried fruit, crackers with peanut butter, chicken, hot dogs, scrambled eggs, baby food green beans with rice, cereal, animal crackers, raisins, goldfish, and bunnies. I gotta figure out more options!!!
-Hope loves chocolate! She has discovered chocolate donuts and candy and walks around asking for "chocola". (o: She is definitely my kid!
-She loves to spin and twirl until she gets so dizzy that she falls to the floor. She loves sitting at her table in the playroom. Still loves books.
-Lately, she's been asking to go to bed. She loves her blankies and binks and snuggles right in. She's still been sleeping in late and this is one grateful Mama! Wake up time of 8 or 9 is heaven!!!
-One of her new favorite things is stickers! We have a special sticker book for the train and another one for hockey games and she LOVES them! She likes to stack them all on top of each other and put them all over her shirt!
-She loves to sing! She likes to sing her words and sings little songs to herself.
-Fun words: "Oh Toodles", Shereal (cereal),
-Things we talk about: Her "guys" and their "puck" and "hockey", "D", "Minamina mou"," quack quack" (Donald Duck), "Ba Ba" (sheep), cows, farms, Playhouse Disney show, Pretend City and the chickens who eat, babies, etc.
-Hope is very ingenious and creative. She explores everything and is determined to figure things out.
-All but her back molars are now in and she loves to brush her teeth. She puts her stool up to the sink and then tells us which toothbrush (Elmo, Abby, or Piglet) and which toothpaste (choo choo or Abby).
-Her favorite music is Mary Rice Hopkins at the moment. (big surprise) She asks for the cow song and animal song whenever we are in the car.
-She loves phones and picks up anything that resembles a phone and says "Hello?!".
-She thinks eskimo kisses and butterfly kisses are hilarious.

Hope is such a delight and is so much fun! She brings laughter to our lives daily and I am so happy to be her Mommy! She is so easy-going and fun!!!

Pretend City!

On Friday Hope and I went to one of my new favorite places. I had heard about Pretend City awhile ago, but didn't think Hope was old enough. On Friday they had a dress up and trick or treat thing so I figured it was a great day to go and a good excuse for Hope to wear her costume! When we 1st got there, they had a children's dentist on site to do free teeth evaluations. Since we haven't taken Hope to the dentist yet, I decided we'd let him take a look. Hope did an amazing job and just layed there and let him look. We got an A+ for Hope's teeth!

After we finished visiting the dentist we were off to play! Pretend City is basically a whole city for kids where everything is hands-on and they can play and imagine as long as they want. I let Hope lead the way and she loved every minute of it! Here are some pics...

She was pretty fascinated by the bathtub and liked being able to turn the knobs.

This was part of the Curious George exhibit. Each window had different characters from the show behind the door. She loved opening and closing them. We did this several times.

She really enjoyed all the cars. There were ones to ride around and a few stationary ones, like this fire truck.

In the garden area there were fruit trees and bushes where the kids could "pick" the fruit. This area was for planting veggies. They had baby chicks in one place and Hope was pretty excited to watch them eat!

This is on the other side of the bathroom...I loved watching Hope try to figure things out.

The grocery store has shelves full of food and groceries for the kids to put in their baskets and then they can ring it up at the end. Hope picked all mustard for her basket.

Another favorite for Hope was the mini-golf course in the middle. She didn't really get the golf part but she sure loved the balls!

She thought the chalkboard in the baby's room was pretty fun too!

If I would've let her, we would have spent our whole time playing in the water! She loved the boats, ducks, fishing, and getting all wet!!!

Several of the different places (restaraunt, Dr. Office, etc) had phones for the kids. Pretty fun!

We had such a fun time at Pretend City together! I can't wait to go again!!!

www.pretendcity.org

You Can Have Me

Here is that song I was trying to remember when I wrote last.

You Can Have Me: Sidewalk Prophets

If I saw You on the street
And You said come and follow me
But I had to give up everything
All I once held dear and all of my dreams

Would I love You enough to let go
Or would my love run dry
When You asked for my life

When did love become unmoving?
When did love become unconsuming?
Forgetting what the world has told me
Father of love, You can have me
You can have me

If You’re all You claim to be
Then I’m not losing anything
So I will crawl upon my knees
Just to know the joy of suffering
I will love You enough to let go

Lord, I give you my life
I give you my life

When did love become unmoving?
When did love become unconsuming?
Forgetting what the world has told me
Father of love, You can have me
You can have me

I want to be where You are
I’m running into Your arms
And I will never look back
So Jesus, here is my heart

When did love become unmoving?
When did love become unconsuming?
Forgetting what the world has told me
Father of love, You can have me
You can have me

When did love become unmoving?
When did love become unconsuming?
Forgetting what the world has told me
Father of love, You can have me

My Father, my love
You can have me

Come, Follow Me

As I was driving to work yesterday I was struck by the lyrics of a song. Of course, now that I am typing this, I can't remember the song and have no clue what it is. The verse of the song basically asked the question, "If Jesus were to call me today, would I leave everything to follow Him?". It got me thinking...would I leave everything to follow?

"Come, follow me, " Jesus said, "and I will make you fishers of men." At once they left their nets and followed Him. Going on from there, he saw two other brothers, James son of Zebedee and his brother John. They were in a boat with their father Zebedee, preparing their nets. Jesus called them, and immediately they left the boat and their father and followed Him." -Matt. 4:19-21

These men left EVERYTHING, to follow Jesus. Did they know who He was? Did they have a sense of His power? How did they know they could trust this man who was asking them to follow him? Maybe I haven't read enough of the verses prior to these as I forget the context or their relationship to Jesus prior to Him calling them.

It just makes me think...would I leave everything to follow Him? If I were at the park with my family and Jesus walked by and asked me to leave everything and follow Him right then and there...would I? I honestly can't imagine leaving my family for anything or anyone. If He were to call to me today, would I go? To be perfectly honest, I don't think I would. I guess times are different today, but I am in awe that the disciples chose to be obedient and go...they left their families behind to follow this man who called to them.

I know He isn't calling me to leave my family today, but what is it that I must leave behind to truly be a Christ follower? What is it that stands in my way of completely following? Why is it that we hesitate to follow Him even though we know He is good? His Word is full of numerous examples of His goodness, His love, His plan for our lives, and yet we hesitate to fully follow?!?

"Closing of Deliverance Prayer"

I came across the following prayer on a piece of paper in my Bible today:

"Thank you Lord that You will awaken our sleeping spirits, and bring us into the light. Thank you Lord that You will transform us by the renewing of our minds daily in Christ Jesus. Thank you Lord that You will pour out Your Spirit on us, and reveal Your Word to us. Thank you Lord that You will give Your angels charge over us in all our ways. Thank Your Lord that we believe in You, and from our innermost beings shall flow rivers of living waters. Thank you Lord that You will direct our hearts into the love of God and the steadfastness of Jesus Christ. In the name of Jesus Christ."

This was given to me by a friend 4 or 5 years ago and yes, I read it a few times, but it never really sunk in at a heart level. As I came across this today and was reading it, my eyes got watery and I realized how true this prayer is of my life. No, I never struggled with a horrible addiction or lived a terrible lifestyle, but I sure was complacent and very apathetic! I was held captive by fear, insecurity, and worry for so long that I was never truly free to be me...I was too afraid. Not that I am totally there yet (wherever "there" may be), but I do feel as though I have been "delivered" from those things that held me down for so long. I feel as though I am a very different person than I was a year or two ago and I feel as though I am finally on my way to becoming who I was created be. I'm not totally sure exactly what that looks like, but I am enjoying the journey right now and I am excited to see what God has for me as I walk with Him!

Conversations with Hope

Playing peek-a-boo @ Disneyland!

Hope and her friends, Abigail and Violet, on the carousel.

Today we went to Disneyland (CA Adventure) with friends from church. The first thing we had to do was see Playhouse Disney as that is Hope's all-time, hands-down favorite! She points it out on the map and it is a must-see each time! Playhouse Disney features Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, Little Einsteins, Handy Manny and My Friends Tigger and Pooh and has a cute little scene for each show. Hope is starting to remember the show and interact more with the characters throughout it. Here's how our conversation went on our drive home tonight:

Hope: Mama, D.
Me: Yes Hope, we went to Disney today.
Hope: Mama, Minaminamina mou.
Me: Yes Hope, we saw MIckey Mouse.
Hope: Quack quack.
Me: Yes, and Donald Duck too.
Hope: Hay Maeeee
Me: Yes, and we saw Handy Manny.
Hope: Bubbles Mama?
Me: Yes Hope, Handy Manny fixed the Bubble machine.
Hope: Pa
Me: Yes, Pat helped too.
Hope: I?
Me: Little EInsteins?
Hope: Ya. Rae
Me: Rocket was in a race?
Hope: Yah. Je
Me: Yes, Rocket raced big jet.
Hope: Pooh. Kie
Me: Yes, we saw Pooh and the kite.
Hope: Tree (then blows)
Me: Yes Hope, the blue kite got stuck in the tree.
Hope: Lee
Me: Yes, and the leaves fell down.
Hope: Mama, choo choo
Me: Yes, we went on the choo choo today at Disneyland.
Hope: amal mama, mmmmmm
Me: Did we see the animal cookies on the choo choo? Did they smell good?
Hope: Yah. Apple?
Me: Yes, and we saw an apple too.
Hope: (as we are almost home) Mama, D?
Me: Yes Hope, we went to Disneyland. We'll go again soon.
Hope: Apple? Minaminamina mou pun?
Me: Yes Hope, tomorrow we will look for the D picture with the apple and the one with the Mickey pumpkin too (freeway billboards), on our way to Grandma's house.

REPEAT CONVERSATION OVER AND OVER FOR 35 MINUTE CAR RIDE HOME. I love my conversations with Hope!

Taming Our Tongues

As I've been reading this week, I am reminded of the power of the tongue and the words we speak. It is something so simple but so important.

-"A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger." Prov. 15:1
-"The tongue that brings healing is a tree of life, but a deceitful tongue crushes the spirit." Prov. 15:4
-"Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing." Prov. 12:18
-"An anxious heart weighs a man down, but a kind word cheers him up." -Prov. 12:25

Now, I'm not one to speak harsh words and I don't often say mean things, but how I say things doesn't always convey love and kindness. The response I give is not always one of gentleness. After the 10th time of Hope asking "Mama mama", I often reply with a quick "what?!?", feeling rather annoyed. I was reflecting today on the power my words will have in Hope's life. The words I speak to my sweet daughter can be life giving and empowering or they can be hurtful and discouraging. The way I speak to Hope teaches her how to speak to others. The way I speak to Jaye and respond to him, teaches Hope how to talk to others and how to communicate. I'm not one to share my heart quickly or speak my feelings openly. I tend to do the opposite...I hide my heart and feelings for fear of being vulnerable. I don't want that for my daughter.

I want Hope to grow up feeling free to speak her mind (respectfully, of course). I want her to know that its okay so share her sadness, disappointment, fear, and frustrations and also her joys, accomplishments, etc. I want Hope to speak words of kindness to her friends and her teachers as she gets older. I want her to speak to others with respect and gentleness. I desire for my daughter to use her words to lift others up and bring joy to those around her. All this starts with me though...She will learn by watching how Jaye and I communicate and speak to those around us.

Lord, touch my tongue. May my words be life giving and encouraging. May those around me know of their value and worth by how I speak to them and the words I share with them. Help me to hold my tongue and be quick to listen, slow to speak. Close my mouth when I try to utter unkind or impatient words. I have so much to learn Lord, but I am willing to listen to You and Your Spirit. Use me to show Hope how to speak words of love and kindness to others. Give me words to offer hope and encouragement to those in my life and help me to bite my tongue when I go to offer unkind or impatient words.

Grandma Woo and Grandpa Daisy

Last weekend Jaye's parents (and Daisy) came over for dinner. It's been really fun to live close to them and Hope is enjoying playtime!! So far we are still trying to figure out what to call each set of Grandparents...they are both just "Grandma" and "Grandpa". When we were trying to explain to Hope which Grandparents were coming over she said "woo woo woo"...when Jaye's parents babysat Hope Jaye's Mom taught her to say "woo woo woo" as she slid down the stairs backwards on her tummy. When we were talking about Grandpa she equated him with Daisy. Jaye's parents may very well become "Grandma Woo" and "Grandpa Daisy"...we'll see what she comes up with! Enjoy some fun pictures of playtime with the Grandparents (and Daisy)!

Hope and Daisy wearing their Mickey ears!

Grandpa helped Daisy get in costume.

Grandma found a tu-tu for Hope and bought one for herself too so they could have dance parties together!

Dance dance dance!

Thankful!

It was one of those nights at work tonight...nights that leave you extra thankful for health and life and family! I am so thankful for Hope tonight...that she is well and healthy!!! Life is so precious and can be so short and I am reminded tonight how often I take my family and our health for granted. Thank you Lord for the incredible gift of joy and life and laughter I have in Hope. Thank you for her curious mind, her adventurous spirit, her easy-going personality, her giggles and snuggles, and yes...even those moments where we get glimpses into the "terrible twos". Lord, I pray your hand of protection around my little investigator each day. Watch over her, surround her with your angels and guide her every step of every day. May she always know that she is loved and treasured God. Thank you. Bless her sleep. Restore her. Renew her strength and energy. Watch over her as she sleeps and wake her well and happy tomorrow.

Heart Whispers

I grew up a pastor's kid. (yes, I am one of those) I grew up going to church, learning verses, working in the nursery, leading the Christian club at school, singing on the worship team (which now I don't know how I thought I could sing), and the list goes on. I grew LOVING camp of any kind which for me, was a chance to get away and meet new friends. Oddly enough, the thing I loved most about camp was the staff. From the time I was in jr. high I remember almost worshipping the staff at camp and then bombarding them with letters when I got home. I think I so longed for that approval and mentor figure that I looked for it everywhere. As a high schooler I led multiple Biblestudies at school on our lunch period and read all sort of books and devotionals that were supposed to help me grow in my faith. I was a good kid and I genuinely enjoyed all things church related. I started journaling in high school, thanks to a camp counselor who encouraged me to do so. I started reading a Proverb a day thanks to another camp counselor. I was very driven to make everyone happy.

In college I followed a similar pattern...getting involved in leadership, journaling, loving chapel, etc. However, my senior year of college wound up being a life-changing year. My family moved to Canada the summer before my senior year, while I was in Calcutta. When I came back to school that year everything felt so different. I was lonely, homesick, and didn't know where I belonged. Where I once tended to be very extraverted, I became very introverted. I tried to grasp onto people and friends and think I may have pushed many away as I was desperate for approval and companionship. After college I settled into a place of complacency. I attended church and loved it, but my spiritual walk didn't go past church.

A few years after working in the "real world" I got offered a job working at a church. I found an amazing mentor who walked with me and encouraged me for 3 incredible years. Thanks to my time with her, I was really challenged to figure out who I am and who I wanted to be. Although we were journeying together, I really struggled with finding my own personal desire to be in the Word. I did Biblestudies and read devotionals because I knew she'd ask me about them when we met next. I had become so accustomed to doing things because I "should" or "ought to". I knew how to talk-the-talk and often did things because I knew that is what was expected of me. I never understood how people could wake up extra early for quiet time...that was so foreign to me!

Anyway, fast-forward 3 years to now...I was journaling last week about how grateful I am to finally feel comfortable in the skin I am in. I feel as though I am whole and happy with who I am. I love my job, my family, our home...I love where we are at in life! As I was thanking God for this place and the contentment I finally feel, I felt Him whispering to my heart. For the first time, maybe ever, I actually felt a desire of my own, in my heart, to spend time with the Lord. I wanted to, not had to. It's a new adventure for me and some days I'm not really sure what to read or do, but I have to start somewhere. I so pray that God would continue to grow this desire in my heart and that He would continue to grow me into the woman He has created me to be. Don't stop whispering to my heart Lord!

18 Months!

It's hard to believe Hope is officially 1 1/2!! The older she gets, the more I love the stages she is in! Babies are cute and all, but I am loving having my toddler!!! I love watching her play as her brain engages in imagining and pretend! I love watching her explore and discover and try new things! I love watching run (not walk) through the house! I love listening to her talk (and babble at times). I love that she can tell me what she wants/needs or likes/dislikes. I love the funny faces she makes at me when she is done eating and thinks that if she closes her eyes that I can't see her. I love the little songs she "sings" as she plays. I love that she has a great sense of humor and cracks herself up! I just love everything about her at this age/stage...so much fun!!! Here's more of what she's up to these days...

-she still loves books! She has a bookshelf full of boardbooks and selectively chooses which ones to read. She loves anything with animals & Pooh right now!
-Hope's favorite foods are oatmeal and rasins. She eats 2 packets of oatmeal at breakfast each morning! (that's how much I usually eat)
-She is a lucky girl and gets to ride the choo choo at least once a week now. She talks about choo choos and Da Da all day long! Love that she has that special time with Jaye!
-She's a great hockey fan! She walks around saying "hockey" and "quack quack". Tonight she'll get to meet lots of players and show off her cute self in her jersey!
-When she wakes up in the morning or from a nap we often find all of her little friends/dolls lined up in a row between her bumper and the crib.
-Hope loves babies! She finds them on TV, in books, when we're out and about! When we talk about going to Grandma's house, the first thing she says is "baby"...that's where she has a baby cradle and high chair and loves to play with her babies!
-Each night and at dinner when we pray with her, after we say "Amen" she always has to add "cow" and "choo choo" and we then have to thank Jesus for the cows and choo choos.
-Her favorite show is Mickey Mouse Clubhouse. She randomly says "oh toodles" as she's playing!
-She's almost mastered a sommersault. She gets in position and at times can push herself over!
-Her top canine teeth are almost done coming in. 1 of them is already through and the other is just about there. Everything goes in her mouth as a result!
-Hope loves bath time! She loves having her own tub to splash in, lay in, pretend in. Her favorite thing is to count her ducks and line them all up.
-If we ask what her name is she now says "Hope" and can hold up 1 finger when asked how old she is.

I'm sure there's lots of other stuff I am forgetting...but at least I've written most of it down so I can remember!

Famous Faces of the Ducks (Last Year and This Year)

This was our 1st preseason game last year...Hope's 1st hockey game ever! She was so tiny! This is with Brett Festerling.

Each year on opening day of the season the Ducks have a red-carpet event prior to the game. We decided to check it out. The picture above is with Bobby Ryan. He is amazing!

A couple of the guys signed our ticket book. This is Wizneiski...when he was signing our book, he accidentally signed Hope's hand! Ha ha!

This was from another fun event, Face Off Fest. Every year season ticket holders get to explore the stadium, meet players, and just enjoy a fun night of hockey stuff! This is Scott Neidermeyer, long-time player and captain of the Ducks. Last year was his final season as he retired. I'm glad we have this fun picture!

FAST FORWARD TO THIS YEAR...

During the 1st few preseason games, many of the veteran players don't play in order to give the new guys a chance to show the coaches their game. As a result, many of the veteran players have been scattered around the Honda Center before the games to surprise fans. Here's a few of the players we got to meet this year....

This is Jason Blake...we often refer to him as "the albino"...

Kyle Chipchura...Jaye teased him that this is what happens when you don't perform at training camp...you get stuck scanning tickets. Only Jaye would tease NHL players!!

This is George Parros, one our favorites!!! George is the team "enforcer" (fighter) and he is such a good guy! He was quite taken with Hope and teased me for having my hands full as I was carrying Winnie the Pooh in front and Hope on my back!

Yay for George!!! (We like to call him "The Pirate"...can you see why?!?!)

Here's Bobby Ryan again. He was such a nice guy! He was a fan of Hope!!! Jaye has an "old school" jersey from when Bobby played for the minors and we got Bobby to sign his jersey...it looks awesome!!!

YAY FOR DUCKS HOCKEY!!!