Kindergarten

How in the world did my baby girl become a Kindergartener?! 

Last week we took a family road trip to visit where Jaye and I went to college! On Fridays at Hope's school they have "college shirt day" where they get to take a break from their uniforms and wear a college shirt. We thought it'd be fun to let her pick a shirt from each of our schools and also to tour her around a bit! At both schools we found ponds with turtles and my little turtle lover was in heaven! (I think that was her favorite part of the whole day...seeing turtles)

 I had never really been on the campus of Cal Poly Pomona so I really enjoyed getting to tour it with Jaye! My amazing husband went there for almost 9 years...at times only take 1 class a year in order to stay enrolled until he could afford to attend more. He is one of the hardest working men I know! It was so fun to have him point out where he went to school and then we took the picture below in front of the art gallery where Jaye was able to show a lot of his work! I love seeing how God has shaped him from then til now!

 After much prayer and many meetings at various schools, we felt God opened doors for Hope to attend a Dual Immersion school. Her school itself isn't in the greatest part of town but we loved the staff, the campus, and that they had dual immersion. In Kindergarten, 90% of the day is taught only in Spanish. Hope's teacher, Sra. Mendoza doesn't ever speak in English to the kids...only Spanish. They bring another teacher to teach the 10% in English. So far, the Spanish hasn't seemed to bother her and we've encouraged her to listen with her ears and watch carefully with her eyes as her teacher will point things out or illustrate what she is saying.

 Saturday night before school started, this Mama had a bit of a meltdown. The reality of Kindergarten sunk in and my heart was so sad. As I sat there crying, trying to figure out why I was so sad, I realized that I had spent almost every day of the last 5 1/2 years with my sweet girl. She was the one who woke me up each morning and who I spent my days with. We'd go running together, play at the park, go to Biblestudy, meet up with friends, and just relax together. I spent more time with her than anyone else! I process by journaling/writing  so I decided I'd write Hope a letter (that she'd someday get). As I wrote out my heart on paper, I remembered that she truly isn't mine to begin with. My Savior, her Creator, entrusted her to her Daddy and I and it was our job to teach her and love her and lead her. I felt like God was telling me, "Carissa, surrender her to me. Let her go." And so...I did. I prayed and committed her once again into the hands of our Maker and chose to trust that HE had good plans for her and that HE would protect her. Aside from praying for her protection, I asked God to give her a good friend at school. I fell asleep that night with tears in my eyes but hearing in my heart, "BE STILL". 

Sunday morning when we went to church we saw Hope's friend Marley. We had met Marley back in May after attending an info meeting at Hope's school. Marley's Mom had told us that her daughter was going to be at the same school but they were placed in the PM class. I hadn't talked to them since that Sunday back in May. This past Sunday when we pulled up, Marley's Mom told me that Marley got moved to the morning Kindergarten class and that she and Hope would be in the same class together. It was as if God was whispering, "See, I got this." Peace immediately took over the fear and sadness that was in my heart. The picture below is Hope and Marley on their 1st day of school together! God is so good to this Mama!

 Jaye has been out of work since May and we pray daily for God to provide a job for him and for God to lead him to what comes next. So far, nothing. He had a temp job for a week and was blessed with another freelance thing, but no permanent job. While it would be really nice for him to have a job and to get back on our feet again financially, God has been so faithful in providing for us. Somehow our bank account hasn't hit zero and even an unexpected broken air conditioning was more than 1/2 covered by the freelance job. God has met our every need and then some. One thing I have come to see is that in Jaye's 3.5 months of being out of work, he's gotten to spend almost every day pouring into our kids. If there could be a "good" timing for getting laid off, it was now. He got to enjoy Hope's last few months of being at home and got to love on her and play with her and dream with her....and he got to be there to take her to her first day of school with me! I love that we've had these moments and memories together and I can't wait to see what God has in store for my incredible husband!

 Day 1 of school was a success and she was excited to go back for day 2! I love that they wear uniforms...makes life so much easier in the mornings...and she looks so stinkin CUTE in them! So, here's to a great year! A year of change and new beginnings and of really fun adventures and journeys!

Blur

The past 6 weeks have been a blur! (at least I think its been 6 weeks) The hubby was let go from an amazing job and company completely out of the blue. He thought he had a great lead and pursued that the 1st two weeks of being unemployed and was left high and dry...they led him on and then let him down. Applications have been submitted, website has been created, and resume updated and here we are...6 weeks later and still waiting.

In the meantime I've been working full-time for the past 6 weeks or so and will continue to do so for at least the next 5 weeks or until he finds a job. Working full-time AND being a Mommy is exhausting. There is no sense of "normal" to our mornings, our days, our weeks, and now our months. We've never been a real scheduled type of family but we definitely had some rhythm to our days...that's been gone for 6 weeks. I find myself overwhelmed with the disaster of our house, the piles of clothes and mail, and just STUFF that has landed EVERYWHERE!!!

I am toast. Hope's last day of preschool was today and she graduates on Friday. Next Sunday she gets baptized and all the days between now and then are planned/booked/full. I want to plan playdates and get togethers  before school starts in August and my weeks already seem way too full!  Life needs to get back to "normal" and SLOW DOWN already!!

I am ready for routine again. For predictability to my days and weeks...for habits to be re-found and re-started and sanity to return. In the mean-time, I feel a bit like I'm drowning in the day to day. I sure hope there's a light at the end of the tunnel really really soon!!! Praying a job for the hubby starts July 1st!

Sick

It's been 10 days now since my sweet girl came home sick from school. It's been 6 days since we started amoxicillin, 5 days since we started eye drops for pink eye, 4 days since I got to go back to work after a week off, 3 days since she fell asleep in the car twice in one day, 2 days since she actually ate dinner for the first time since she came home sick, and 1 day since she ate 3 meals in one day.

It has been a very very long 10 days.

I've had 2 people in the past 2 days tell me how frail she looks. . . that she looks like she lost weight. My poor sweet girl. As a Mom you can't help but worry and wonder if there's something more going on, something you can't see. But then I am reminded that the Creator of the whole entire universe created my girl and HE knows her best and has created her inmost being. HE is with her and HE is sustaining her. We've had 3 mornings now of a happy and cheerful girl and 2 of those days called for a long nap in the afternoon. Her little body is exhausted and tired and weak and is trying so hard to recover.

I know there are friends and so many people out there who have kids WAY sicker than mine and who can't make theirs well with a round of medicine or week off of school/work . . . makes my 10 days seem so small and insignificant. But they're not. In our house, in our family, these past 10 days have been worrisome and sad and this Mama has felt pretty helpless as there's nothing I could do but wait for her to feel better.

So today I celebrate a great morning and a cheerful girl and pray that the day continues to go in this direction!

Five Minute Friday: Mess

Mess.

This word probably describes my home 357 days of the year. The 8 days it doesn't, that's probably because it was a holiday or birthday and we had people over.

I will be the first to admit that keeping house is not one of my strong-points, gifts, passions, or cares even! Do I love living in a mess? Not really. Then why is my house a mess? My house is usually a mess because being with my kids or spending time as a family is more important to me than a clean house. There's numerous quotes out there that say something about "Pardon the mess, we're busy making memories". . . or something to that tune and it rings true for this family. The mess will be there tomorrow, but we don't get another shot at today, ever.

Albert Einstein described "insanity" as: "doing the same thing over and over again, hoping for different results". This is how I feel about trying to get the mess picked up. The toys are going to get strewn across the house as again, the dishes will pile up as so on as the counter is cleared, the clothes will need washing again at the end of the day. Am I saying I don't do anything? No. I just don't stress about the mess that is often times my house and even my life some days.

I'd rather sit and read with my little ones or take them on an adventure than worry about the mess. Yes, I do eventually get to the point where the disaster makes me a bit crazy so then we clean, put everything away, and enjoy the serenity of order and neatness . . . for the few days that it seems to last. Those that know me well have been in my disaster and they love me none the less and it is for those friends I am so grateful and thankful for . . . the ones who come and clear a spot of floor or couch and just hang out and be.

Five Minute Friday: Friend

Friend. My mind immediately goes to a few people who I treasure and value...a few people who epitomize the word "friend" in my life.

I am so thankful for those few people, those few girls, who know me so well and yet love me. They are those who get me...they get that I'm not a people-person, that I don't love crowds, that I could care less about what others think. The few that come to mind are people who I feel like I could spend all day every day with and never get sick of them. It wouldn't matter if we had tons to say or nothing to say at all, just being together would be enough. These friends are the ones who get the 1st text asking for prayer when something happens or the text that just says " I am so over this day". I think I could count these girls on 1 hand and I wouldn't have it any other way. I don't need armies of people that I know, I just need a few girls who know me well.

The ironic thing is that none of these people are people who I see daily, weekly, or even monthly. Some of them I only get to see once a year....but it doesn't matter. They are my front row, they are the few I have chosen to be real with and to let in and I wouldn't trade them for anything! You know who you are and I hope you know how much I value you and treasure you with all my heart!

Be Still

Well, Hope is on day 5 of high fevers which means we are on day 5 of laying low. I had big plans for our week...work, Small Group, church, Hope's 2nd triathlon, Disneyland, etc. And instead of all those really fun things, we've stayed home. We've watched movies, we've exhausted our piles of books, we've just hung out...for 5 days. If you know me well, you know I'm not very good at being still or staying home. I like to be on the go, to have full & busy days. And yet...here we are. I've tried hard this week to encourage her to relax, to watch movies, to rest. It's been a long week! So, while I had these grandiose plans of a fun and busy week, God had other plans for us. So here I am...trying to be still, trying to enjoy the down time, trying to enjoy just BEING with my kids rather than going and doing. Ugh!

Five Minute Friday: Glue

There's a really cheesy song that I love by a band called Sugarland. It's called "Stuck Like Glue". It has a catchy melody and is easily stuck in your head after hearing it.

There you go making my heart beat again,
Heart beat again,
Heart beat again
There you go making me feel like a kid
Won't you do it and do it one time?
There you go pulling me right back in,
Right back in,
Right back in
And I know-oo I'm never letting this go-ooo
I'm stuck on you
Whutooo whutooo
Stuck like glue
You and me baby we're stuck like glue
Whutooo whutooo
Stuck like glue
You and me baby we're stuck like glue

I guess what I love about this silly little song is it sums up how I feel about my sweet husband. There is no one else I'd rather be with, no one else I'd rather have by my side, no one else I'd rather be stuck to...like glue! I think I could spend all day every day with him and still not get sick of him. He is my better half, my common sense, my sounding board, the one my heart loves! Thanks to crazy work schedules we often go days without seeing each other but I find those days when we are together, I don't want to leave his side...I don't care what it is we do or need to get done, I'd rather do it together. He really is my better half and I am so thankful God chose him for me!