Grateful

Our family has had quite the week this week and it's only Thursday. On Tuesday my amazing and wonderful hubby had surgery to remove melanoma from his arm. As we waited and waited that day to get checked in, to be seen, to talk to the Dr., to go to surgery, to recover, to go home...we kept looking at each other and talking about how we were so grateful that Someone bigger than us was in charge of it all. We were grateful that we could place our nervousness, our fears, our uncertainty into the hands of the One who already knows the ending. Sure, we would have rather not been there at all, but it could have been worse. Surgery came and went and we were sent home with  my hubby rocking 3 scars more than before. 

Last night we ended up at the Emergency Dept. due to sudden swelling and redness...not where either of us wanted to be. But God is good in the midst of the unknown and we were once again left grateful for friends/coworkers who worked so hard to get us seen, for an on-call Dr. who sent his team to see us while standing in the parking lot waiting to be triaged, for a prescription and not ever needing to actually be a patient which meant no $100 co-pay, and for $5 prescriptions on-site, and for dinner together after a long day of not-eating. We could have been there for HOURS...there were 40+ patients waiting to be seen. We made it home and back in 4 hours (including picking up prescription, dinner, a quick stop at Target and lots of road work/traffic). 

Through both of our adventures this week, God has been faithful! (as He always is) We are so grateful God has placed my family nearby who has gone above and beyond this week to care for our kids so that I could be with my hubby. They have loved them deeply (as always) and have prayed faithfully through it all. We have SO very much to be grateful for! For my run today, I opted to listen to one of my favorite singers, Nichole Nordeman. She's not my typical pick for music to run to but I just felt like I needed to use my time for good. One of my favorite songs came on and yet again I was reminded of just how much we have to be grateful for. Sure, it'd be great to not have gone through any of this scary stuff but HE is good and HE is faithful and HE knows best. Here's the song: 

Gratitude

Send some rain, would You send some rain?

'Cause the earth is dry and needs to drink again

And the sun is high and we are sinking in the shade

Would You send a cloud, thunder long and loud?

Let the sky grow black and send some mercy down

Surely You can see that we are thirsty and afraid

But maybe not, not today

Maybe You'll provide in other ways

And if that's the case

We'll give thanks to You with gratitude

For lessons learned in how to thirst for You

How to bless the very sun that warms our face

If You never send us rain

Daily bread, give us daily bread

Bless our bodies, keep our children fed

Fill our cups, then fill them up again tonight

Wrap us up and warm us through

Tucked away beneath our sturdy roofs

Let us slumber safe from danger's view this time

Or maybe not, not today

Maybe You'll provide in other ways

And if that's the case

We'll give thanks to You with gratitude

A lesson learned to hunger after You

That a starry sky offers a better view

If no roof is overhead

And if we never taste that bread

Oh, the differences that often are between

Everything we want and what we really need

So grant us peace, Jesus, grant us peace

Move our hearts to hear a single beat

Between alibis and enemies tonight

Or maybe not, not today

Peace might be another world away

And if that's the case

We'll give thanks to You with gratitude

For lessons learned in how to trust in You

That we are blessed beyond what we could ever dream

In abundance or in need

And if You never grant us peace

But, Jesus, would You please

Five Minute Friday: Care

Each Wednesday I get to volunteer in my daughter's Kindergarten classroom. Some weeks I get to help at centers and help the kids with their papers they are working on and other weeks I make copies the whole time. The weeks where I get to help with centers, I love getting to interact with the kids and see what they are working on and then to help or encourage them with their assignments.

Almost every day in their class, at least 1 child will get moved up to purple on their behavior chart . . . purple means you had a great did, did all your work, listened, sat still, helped others, etc. If you get to purple, you get to pick from the treasure chest. This is a big deal to these kids. Most weeks when I help, the teacher will ask me at the end of the day (with all the kids listening) who I saw working hard. Whoever I say, usually gets moved up to purple and then gets to pick from the treasure chest.

I always try to look for the kids who may get overlooked or who are known to be trouble. Usually its the same few kids who are quiet, doing their work, etc. 2 weeks ago, one of the little girls (who has a very hard time sitting quietly and who often does messy work) whispered in my ear, "Sra. Howard, when the teacher asks who was working hard today and who did a good job, you tell her 'Mia did'. Okay?" I reminded her that I could only do that if she worked hard, did her best, and sat quietly. I sat with Mia that morning and helped her with her assignment...her letter "P" was messy, she didn't do her best, and she kept talking. I encouraged her to try again and do her best.

I didn't choose Mia that day. She wasn't working hard or trying her best. But I did make sure to encourage her, to spend that extra time with her, to let her know that I cared. My goal when I'm in the classroom helping is to let the kids know that I care, that they are special, that I notice their hard work or their pretty coloring. I try to walk around to each table and speak love and encouragement into these kids with a "nice work", "great job", "thank you for working quietly", etc. Each kid in that class needs to know that they matter, that someone cares for them, that someone notices what they are doing.

Sometimes I forget that my own kids, my spouse, my co-workers also need to know that I care, that they matter and that they are important to me. When is the last time I spoke truth and encouragement into their lives or did something small to show them I care?

Five Minute Friday: New

2 weeks ago I picked up my daughter from school and she quickly told me, "Today was the worst day ever! I don't want to go to school tomorrow!" This coming from my happy-go-lucky, school-loving kid was quite a surprise. As I asked questions and tried to figure out where it was coming from she told me she had forgotten a few of her sight words, she didn't get to pick from the treasure chest, and she had lost her hair bow. In her world, this sequence of events was catastrophic and got the best of her.

As we drove home from school that day we talked about the verse in the Bible about God's mercies being NEW every morning. I explained to her that just because today was a bad day, didn't mean tomorrow would be bad. Tomorrow is a NEW day! Tomorrow we get a chance to start over again, to start fresh, to do things differently. She wasn't convinced, but thankfully the next day she forgot about her horrible day and was ready for a NEW day!

How often in life do we do the same . . .we have a bad day, a bad week, a series of unfortunate and unforeseen events are thrown our way and we are convinced that nothing good will come of it, that life as we know it is over. And yet, God promises us that His mercies are NEW every morning. He was present in the disappointments of yesterday and promises us NEW chances tomorrow.

I'm so thankful for NEW mercies and NEW starts each day. God only knows how many times I've gotten disappointed, I've felt like a failure, I've faced things that I thought were the end of the world, I've thrown mercy and grace out the window. . . and somehow I get another chance tomorrow. Tomorrow is a NEW day! Regardless of what happened today, what didn't go my way, what scary news we received . . . tomorrow we get another chance!

So here's to NEW days, NEW beginnings, NEW mercies and second chances!

He Really Does Speak

I've never been one to "hear" from God and couldn't tell you what God "said" to me or is trying to "speak" to me. I'm not good at hearing Him whisper or even roar...maybe I'm Spiritually deaf...or maybe I just don't stop long enough to listen and be still. Or maybe I am spiritually deaf because of the latter.

It's been a roller-coaster few weeks in our house lately and for the most part, it's easy for me to trust. When it comes to taking spiritual gifts tests, mine always comes back high in "faith". If God says He has a plan, than I believe it. If He says He'll meet our needs, I don't usually doubt it. It's easy for me not to worry because I have faith that God is in it and has gone before whatever it is.

This morning I let myself doubt and let myself get worried...but thankfully I was smart enough to stop and pull out my journal in attempt to process and pray. As I sat down to journal a verse came to mind.

"Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know."
-Jeremiah 33:3

As I read down a little farther I noticed another verse:

"Nevertheless, I will bring health and healing to it; I will heal my people and will let them enjoy abundant peace and security." -Jeremiah 33:6

Was this God reassuring me? What is it Him reminding me of His promises? It sure fit with what was on my mind and heart today...As I finished journaling/praying another verse came to mind:

"You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in You." -Isaiah 26:3

Yet again, what I needed....peace.

I know He's "spoken" to me before but not like this. Maybe I should stop and be still more often!

The Seven Experiment: Media

This week entailed a quasi-fast from media. I told myself I could check Facebook once a day, but not when my kids were awake, and not on my phone. I also told myself that I wouldn't use my phone for anything but necessary texts...that meant no Instagram, no Zulily, no Pinterest, etc. I could've fasted from FB all together, but I didn't.

This week confirmed what I already knew to be true: I waste way too much time looking at my phone. When my kids are crazy or I'm feeling overwhelmed, I choose to ignore real life and turn my attention to my phone instead. My phone allows me to escape reality and delve into a world of way too much unnecessary information. My phone causes me not to be present with my kids, my husband, my friends, my life. When I am bored, I look at FB and IG. When I'm feeling lonely or bored, I send random texts in hopes of "engaging" with someone.

I could've chosen to fast from TV this week but the reality is that we don't watch much of it anyway and sometimes we all just need to veg. My kids watch maybe an hour a day and it mostly serves as background noise while they play. My husband and I watch maybe 2-3 hours a week total and it's the way to unwind and spend time together at the end of a long day. I'm okay with our consumption of TV. We don't have cable so we get to monitor what the kids are watching via Netflix, PBS kids, or Hulu.

Something I realized this week is that what I enjoy most about social media are the pictures. I really don't care what you ate for dinner, who you're mad at, what your co-worker said, etc. I didn't miss the drama, the passive-agressive attacks at whoever hurt you or made you mad. Since when did it become okay to act like 13 year old girls when we are indeed grown-ups? Since when did it become okay to air your dirty laundry to the world? I didn't miss the ads, the deals of the day, the recipe of the day, etc.

What I did miss was seeing my friend's cute kids, seeing pictures of adventures and milestones. I guess what I enjoy most about social media is the sense of connections (even if it is a bit false). It's so fun to celebrate major events or laugh at something funny your kid said or did. I guess it may time to sort through the lists of ads and outside sources that show up in my feed. Time to pair down that list of "friends" who don't build me up or don't encourage me to be a better person.

After this week, I do hope to be more intentional about steering clear of my phone when others are around...especially my kids. I don't want to ignore my kids. I don't want to avoid confrontation or discipline by burrying my head in my phone. Rather than ignore reality and not be present, I need to keep my phone plugged in to it's charger, in the other room, away from my family...someplace I'm not tempted to zone out and avoid them. It sounds horrible as I type this, but it is sadly so true. Rather than cope with life and frustration or boredom, I turn to my phone to entertain me or distract me. Guilty. This Mama has a long way to go when it comes to being present and dealing with reality.

The Seven Experiment: Posessions

"Show me how you spend your money, I'll show you what you really love."

"If we mistakenly spend the majority of this short life on earth earning more, buying bigger, possessing nicer, and chasing better, then at the end we have this: a mostly wasted life."

"For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also."

During our week of focusing on possessions, I had decided to pick one room a day and get rid of at least 7-10 items from that room. I wasn't quite as calculated as I had hoped, but I definitely got rid of LOTS of stuff. 1/2 of our garage is now FULL of things to sell at a yard-sale. It is full of stuff that we don't need, don't use, don't want, etc. As I sorted through various rooms in our house I realized how much useless stuff we have....how many things we moved into this house 4 years ago and have never even touched or used. It made me kinda sick to think about our excess.

Is it wrong to have posessions and things? NO. Is it wrong to waste money and not live within our means? YES. If we had to move and down-size today, we would still have plenty of stuff to get rid of. In reality, we could live without so much and need so little to live from day-to-day.

I am guilty. If the top statement is true, than I really love Amazon.com, OldNavy.com, Ralphs, and Target. I think I need certain things when in reality, I have plenty already. I go in for 1 thing and come out with 12 things I didn't need and that weren't on my list. YUCK! I am in impulse buyer...especially if it something under $20. No good at all.

I need to shift my focus to things that have eternal value and let go of those that don't. I want my treasure to be in things that are worthwhile...things that truly matter.

Five Minute Friday: Because

BECAUSE I said so. BECAUSE I don't want to. BECAUSE I said no. BECAUSE I'm a grown up. BECAUSE life's not fair. BECAUSE....

It seems like the word "because" is a word that justifies. If we use the word "because" it means that whatever follows it is justified and fair game to say. "Because" is an excuse word around our house and in my  mind, I use it often to justify less than stellar behavior or thoughts or attitudes.

But really, the best use of the word I can think of is, "BECAUSE God is love". 1 John 4:7-10 says, "My beloved friends, let us continue to love each other since love comes from God. Everyone who loves is born of God and experiences a relationship with God. The person who refuses to love doesn’t know the first thing about God, because God is love—so you can’t know him if you don’t love. This is how God showed his love for us: God sent his only Son into the world so we might live through him. This is the kind of love we are talking about—not that we once upon a time loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as a sacrifice to clear away our sins and the damage they’ve done to our relationship with God."

Because God is love, it shouldn't matter if I said so or not. Because God is love, I should be compelled to do good...even if I don't want to. Because God is love, I should take the time to explain why the answer is no. Because God is love, I shouldn't expect life to be fair...after all, it wasn't fair that HE had to die for me...but He did. Because God is love, I ought to love others.

BECAUSE shouldn't be a justifying word or an excuse word, it should be a compelling word, a cause and effect-type word. Because God is love, we should be driven to show the world His love. I should be driven to show my kids His love. I should be compelled to show my husband that same love.