Blessings

I was texting (yes, we were texting instead of talking) with a dear friend last night and we were both "talking" about how our lives aren't at all what we thought they'd look like at the moment but in spite of all the chaos and craziness and uncertainty, life is still really good! 

On Thursday my hubby got a phone call from the Oncologist who did his surgery earlier in the week, asking him to come in for a new appointment the following day (instead of a week from then). We both wondered why the new appointment . . . was it because they got pathology results? Did they have bad news? Was it just because of our trip to the Emergency Dept on Wednesday? We had no clue. So we wondered and we prayed, unsure of what that appointment would hold. 

As my hubby soon found out, the appointment was to tell him his pathology results. The tests all came back negative! They were able to remove the melanoma from the one spot and none of the lymph nodes tested positive. Hubby is officially cancer free. We wouldn't wish the uncertainty of the past few weeks on anyone and yet, we wouldn't trade the experience and what it taught us and how it brought us together. How often we pray for things to go one way and they go the complete opposite! 

I feel like God speaks to me so often through music. Music hits the core of my being and the truth of certain lyrics resonate so deeply in my heart and mind. When Laura Story's song, Blessings, came out, I remember being dumb-founded as I listened the the words. "What if my greatest disappointments or the aching of this life is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can't satisfy. What if the trials of this life: the rain, the storms, the hardest nights, are your mercies in disguise?" We pray for things to go one way, we pray for God to bless us and our families, we pray for great days, for good jobs, for fun memories . . . and sometimes we get none of those things. But it is in those times of seeking, of asking, of praying, of crying, of shouting, of wondering if anyone really cares, when we find God and His incredible arms of love . . . just waiting to envelop us in His embrace and hold us close. So here's the rest of the song:

Blessings

We pray for blessings, we pray for peace
Comfort for family, protection while we sleep
We pray for healing, for prosperity
We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering
And all the while, You hear each spoken need
Yet love us way too much to give us lesser things

'Cause what if your blessings come through rain drops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You're near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

We pray for wisdom, Your voice to hear
We cry in anger when we cannot feel You near
We doubt your goodness, we doubt your love
As if every promise from Your word is not enough
And all the while, You hear each desperate plea
And long that we'd have faith to believe

'Cause what if your blessings come through rain drops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You're near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

When friends betray us
When darkness seems to win
We know that pain reminds this heart
That this is not,
This is not our home
It's not our home

'Cause what if your blessings come through rain drops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You're near

What if my greatest disappointments or the aching of this life
Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can't satisfy
What if trials of this life
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
Are your mercies in disguise

Five Minute Friday: Long

Long . . . this is a word that often accompanies my search for clothing. Another word synonymous with "long" is "tall". Welcome to the world of a tall girl! Maybe I didn't used to care or maybe I grew, or maybe I just didn't have any other options way back when, but LONG is necessity when it comes to buying pants, swimsuits and sometimes even shirts.

Whoever finally came up with the idea to make clothing in long lengths was brilliant! This 6'0" girl no longer has to wear high waters or layer tanks under shirts in an effort to be modest. I know this is really silly to write about but it is what came to mind. I am thankful for "long" and "tall" lengths! I know my short friends feel the same way when it comes to "short" and "petite" sizes. I'm so glad they make a little bit of everything for a little bit of everyone!

So here's to the tall girls, the girls who need the word "long" to be a part of their search for clothing! It's out there, just gotta find the right fit and the right store!

Grateful

Our family has had quite the week this week and it's only Thursday. On Tuesday my amazing and wonderful hubby had surgery to remove melanoma from his arm. As we waited and waited that day to get checked in, to be seen, to talk to the Dr., to go to surgery, to recover, to go home...we kept looking at each other and talking about how we were so grateful that Someone bigger than us was in charge of it all. We were grateful that we could place our nervousness, our fears, our uncertainty into the hands of the One who already knows the ending. Sure, we would have rather not been there at all, but it could have been worse. Surgery came and went and we were sent home with  my hubby rocking 3 scars more than before. 

Last night we ended up at the Emergency Dept. due to sudden swelling and redness...not where either of us wanted to be. But God is good in the midst of the unknown and we were once again left grateful for friends/coworkers who worked so hard to get us seen, for an on-call Dr. who sent his team to see us while standing in the parking lot waiting to be triaged, for a prescription and not ever needing to actually be a patient which meant no $100 co-pay, and for $5 prescriptions on-site, and for dinner together after a long day of not-eating. We could have been there for HOURS...there were 40+ patients waiting to be seen. We made it home and back in 4 hours (including picking up prescription, dinner, a quick stop at Target and lots of road work/traffic). 

Through both of our adventures this week, God has been faithful! (as He always is) We are so grateful God has placed my family nearby who has gone above and beyond this week to care for our kids so that I could be with my hubby. They have loved them deeply (as always) and have prayed faithfully through it all. We have SO very much to be grateful for! For my run today, I opted to listen to one of my favorite singers, Nichole Nordeman. She's not my typical pick for music to run to but I just felt like I needed to use my time for good. One of my favorite songs came on and yet again I was reminded of just how much we have to be grateful for. Sure, it'd be great to not have gone through any of this scary stuff but HE is good and HE is faithful and HE knows best. Here's the song: 

Gratitude

Send some rain, would You send some rain?

'Cause the earth is dry and needs to drink again

And the sun is high and we are sinking in the shade

Would You send a cloud, thunder long and loud?

Let the sky grow black and send some mercy down

Surely You can see that we are thirsty and afraid

But maybe not, not today

Maybe You'll provide in other ways

And if that's the case

We'll give thanks to You with gratitude

For lessons learned in how to thirst for You

How to bless the very sun that warms our face

If You never send us rain

Daily bread, give us daily bread

Bless our bodies, keep our children fed

Fill our cups, then fill them up again tonight

Wrap us up and warm us through

Tucked away beneath our sturdy roofs

Let us slumber safe from danger's view this time

Or maybe not, not today

Maybe You'll provide in other ways

And if that's the case

We'll give thanks to You with gratitude

A lesson learned to hunger after You

That a starry sky offers a better view

If no roof is overhead

And if we never taste that bread

Oh, the differences that often are between

Everything we want and what we really need

So grant us peace, Jesus, grant us peace

Move our hearts to hear a single beat

Between alibis and enemies tonight

Or maybe not, not today

Peace might be another world away

And if that's the case

We'll give thanks to You with gratitude

For lessons learned in how to trust in You

That we are blessed beyond what we could ever dream

In abundance or in need

And if You never grant us peace

But, Jesus, would You please

Five Minute Friday: Care

Each Wednesday I get to volunteer in my daughter's Kindergarten classroom. Some weeks I get to help at centers and help the kids with their papers they are working on and other weeks I make copies the whole time. The weeks where I get to help with centers, I love getting to interact with the kids and see what they are working on and then to help or encourage them with their assignments.

Almost every day in their class, at least 1 child will get moved up to purple on their behavior chart . . . purple means you had a great did, did all your work, listened, sat still, helped others, etc. If you get to purple, you get to pick from the treasure chest. This is a big deal to these kids. Most weeks when I help, the teacher will ask me at the end of the day (with all the kids listening) who I saw working hard. Whoever I say, usually gets moved up to purple and then gets to pick from the treasure chest.

I always try to look for the kids who may get overlooked or who are known to be trouble. Usually its the same few kids who are quiet, doing their work, etc. 2 weeks ago, one of the little girls (who has a very hard time sitting quietly and who often does messy work) whispered in my ear, "Sra. Howard, when the teacher asks who was working hard today and who did a good job, you tell her 'Mia did'. Okay?" I reminded her that I could only do that if she worked hard, did her best, and sat quietly. I sat with Mia that morning and helped her with her assignment...her letter "P" was messy, she didn't do her best, and she kept talking. I encouraged her to try again and do her best.

I didn't choose Mia that day. She wasn't working hard or trying her best. But I did make sure to encourage her, to spend that extra time with her, to let her know that I cared. My goal when I'm in the classroom helping is to let the kids know that I care, that they are special, that I notice their hard work or their pretty coloring. I try to walk around to each table and speak love and encouragement into these kids with a "nice work", "great job", "thank you for working quietly", etc. Each kid in that class needs to know that they matter, that someone cares for them, that someone notices what they are doing.

Sometimes I forget that my own kids, my spouse, my co-workers also need to know that I care, that they matter and that they are important to me. When is the last time I spoke truth and encouragement into their lives or did something small to show them I care?

Five Minute Friday: New

2 weeks ago I picked up my daughter from school and she quickly told me, "Today was the worst day ever! I don't want to go to school tomorrow!" This coming from my happy-go-lucky, school-loving kid was quite a surprise. As I asked questions and tried to figure out where it was coming from she told me she had forgotten a few of her sight words, she didn't get to pick from the treasure chest, and she had lost her hair bow. In her world, this sequence of events was catastrophic and got the best of her.

As we drove home from school that day we talked about the verse in the Bible about God's mercies being NEW every morning. I explained to her that just because today was a bad day, didn't mean tomorrow would be bad. Tomorrow is a NEW day! Tomorrow we get a chance to start over again, to start fresh, to do things differently. She wasn't convinced, but thankfully the next day she forgot about her horrible day and was ready for a NEW day!

How often in life do we do the same . . .we have a bad day, a bad week, a series of unfortunate and unforeseen events are thrown our way and we are convinced that nothing good will come of it, that life as we know it is over. And yet, God promises us that His mercies are NEW every morning. He was present in the disappointments of yesterday and promises us NEW chances tomorrow.

I'm so thankful for NEW mercies and NEW starts each day. God only knows how many times I've gotten disappointed, I've felt like a failure, I've faced things that I thought were the end of the world, I've thrown mercy and grace out the window. . . and somehow I get another chance tomorrow. Tomorrow is a NEW day! Regardless of what happened today, what didn't go my way, what scary news we received . . . tomorrow we get another chance!

So here's to NEW days, NEW beginnings, NEW mercies and second chances!

He Really Does Speak

I've never been one to "hear" from God and couldn't tell you what God "said" to me or is trying to "speak" to me. I'm not good at hearing Him whisper or even roar...maybe I'm Spiritually deaf...or maybe I just don't stop long enough to listen and be still. Or maybe I am spiritually deaf because of the latter.

It's been a roller-coaster few weeks in our house lately and for the most part, it's easy for me to trust. When it comes to taking spiritual gifts tests, mine always comes back high in "faith". If God says He has a plan, than I believe it. If He says He'll meet our needs, I don't usually doubt it. It's easy for me not to worry because I have faith that God is in it and has gone before whatever it is.

This morning I let myself doubt and let myself get worried...but thankfully I was smart enough to stop and pull out my journal in attempt to process and pray. As I sat down to journal a verse came to mind.

"Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know."
-Jeremiah 33:3

As I read down a little farther I noticed another verse:

"Nevertheless, I will bring health and healing to it; I will heal my people and will let them enjoy abundant peace and security." -Jeremiah 33:6

Was this God reassuring me? What is it Him reminding me of His promises? It sure fit with what was on my mind and heart today...As I finished journaling/praying another verse came to mind:

"You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in You." -Isaiah 26:3

Yet again, what I needed....peace.

I know He's "spoken" to me before but not like this. Maybe I should stop and be still more often!

The Seven Experiment: Media

This week entailed a quasi-fast from media. I told myself I could check Facebook once a day, but not when my kids were awake, and not on my phone. I also told myself that I wouldn't use my phone for anything but necessary texts...that meant no Instagram, no Zulily, no Pinterest, etc. I could've fasted from FB all together, but I didn't.

This week confirmed what I already knew to be true: I waste way too much time looking at my phone. When my kids are crazy or I'm feeling overwhelmed, I choose to ignore real life and turn my attention to my phone instead. My phone allows me to escape reality and delve into a world of way too much unnecessary information. My phone causes me not to be present with my kids, my husband, my friends, my life. When I am bored, I look at FB and IG. When I'm feeling lonely or bored, I send random texts in hopes of "engaging" with someone.

I could've chosen to fast from TV this week but the reality is that we don't watch much of it anyway and sometimes we all just need to veg. My kids watch maybe an hour a day and it mostly serves as background noise while they play. My husband and I watch maybe 2-3 hours a week total and it's the way to unwind and spend time together at the end of a long day. I'm okay with our consumption of TV. We don't have cable so we get to monitor what the kids are watching via Netflix, PBS kids, or Hulu.

Something I realized this week is that what I enjoy most about social media are the pictures. I really don't care what you ate for dinner, who you're mad at, what your co-worker said, etc. I didn't miss the drama, the passive-agressive attacks at whoever hurt you or made you mad. Since when did it become okay to act like 13 year old girls when we are indeed grown-ups? Since when did it become okay to air your dirty laundry to the world? I didn't miss the ads, the deals of the day, the recipe of the day, etc.

What I did miss was seeing my friend's cute kids, seeing pictures of adventures and milestones. I guess what I enjoy most about social media is the sense of connections (even if it is a bit false). It's so fun to celebrate major events or laugh at something funny your kid said or did. I guess it may time to sort through the lists of ads and outside sources that show up in my feed. Time to pair down that list of "friends" who don't build me up or don't encourage me to be a better person.

After this week, I do hope to be more intentional about steering clear of my phone when others are around...especially my kids. I don't want to ignore my kids. I don't want to avoid confrontation or discipline by burrying my head in my phone. Rather than ignore reality and not be present, I need to keep my phone plugged in to it's charger, in the other room, away from my family...someplace I'm not tempted to zone out and avoid them. It sounds horrible as I type this, but it is sadly so true. Rather than cope with life and frustration or boredom, I turn to my phone to entertain me or distract me. Guilty. This Mama has a long way to go when it comes to being present and dealing with reality.