Pure JOY!!!

Can they be any cuter or happier?!?! Had to share this!

Gymboree!

I've been debating for awhile about whether or not to join Gymboree with Hope. The more I thought about it, the more I liked the idea. Being that we have little to no structure at our house and I often have no ideas of what to do with Hope, I thought a little structured playtime outside the house would be good for both of us! A friend from work has a son 2 months younger than Hope who lives nearby so we decided to try out a free class and see how the kids liked it.
Hope and I got to Gymboree 10 minutes early so we got the whole play floor to ourselves for a bit! The first thing Hope noticed was all the balls...she was thrilled!!! Once class started we sang a bit and played a bit and it was really fun! I liked that they'd have a group activity for 5 minutes and then they'd let the kids go play and explore for 10 minutes and then we'd go back to a group activity. When they brought out the parachute towards the end Hope was in awe! She LOVED sitting on top and running under and everything about it!

So needless to say, Gymboree will now be getting monthly payments from the Howard household in exchange for an hour of structured play and hopefully an hour or two of free play at the Gym each week! As much as it kills me to pay for Gymboree, I am looking forward to lots of playing and maybe even meeting new friends! Hey, if I pick up an extra shift each month that will more than cover our playtime! (o: Oh the things we do for our kids!!!

Thank God for Little Girls!

Prior to last summer, Hope didn't really have any friends who were girls. All of my friends who had babies around when Hope was born had boys...which is wonderful and we love them to pieces! I remember telling Jaye several times how I really wanted Hope to have a girl friend to grow up with...someone to play princesses with and share tea parties with. I didn't figure the boys in her life would appreciate that very much! So...rewind to last summer. Jaye and I decided to visit our old church and the week after we visited they had a water day for all the little ones. It was at the water day that we met Violet and her family. Didn't think much of it then, but that was the start of great things to come!

Now, I'm not great at making new friends and I tend to shy away from gatherings where I won't know people. I am an introvert and being with new people wears me out. But...somehow, Hope and I ended up with Violet and her Mom at Disneyland last fall and it was the start of something wonderful! Not only was Violet an answer to my prayers for Hope to have a girl friend, but Violet's Mom ended being an answer to prayers that I hadn't even prayed! God knew my heart and my desire for connection. The more time we spend with Violet and her family, the more Jaye and I are reminded of God's faithfulness! We are so blessed to have new friends for all of us and we can't wait for the many adventures that lie ahead.

So...enjoy pictures of our girl's day at Disneyland...when we met up the girls were wearing the same shirt (that we didn't know the other even had) and they looked adorable with their pink and bows! Great minds must think alike! We had a blast together and I am so thankful!!!

It's hard to get all 4 of us looking the right direction! But we had fun trying!

This last one is a favorite of mine! They had so much fun running together and thought it was funny to be holding hands! Hopefully Violet's Mom got a cute one from the front, but I love this one from the back!

18 Years and 4 Days...

18 years and 4 days ago, I can remember so clearly sitting in a chair, against the wall, next to my Grandma, waiting for my little brother to be born. I was in 7th grade. I must admit that at first I wasn't very thrilled about the idea of having a sibling after being an only child for 12 years...it was one of those "Are you kidding me?!?" moments. My attitude quickly changed and I began to get excited about the prospect of a little brother. I was so close to convincing my parents to name my little brother "Bryan" because I was obsessed with a Christian musician name Bryan Duncan at that time. They chose Aaron instead...good choice!

I've almost always loved having a little brother. I say "almost" because there were times in high school where being the built-in-babysitter was a bit of a bummer. Other than that minor detail, I have always LOVED my little brother to pieces! Being 12.5 years apart we didn't fight, we didn't really have to share much...it was great! The only time I remember being annoyed was on road trips when his Lego desk and toys would quickly crowd into my small corner of the backseat. He was 3 or 4, what do you expect?!? I was his "Sissy" and he was my "Buddy". (and it's still that way today)

From the time he was tiny I made up my mind to be involved in his life and that was my goal...to be a good big sister and to be actively involved in whatever he was into/doing. I got to cheer him on at tee-ball games, enjoy his school performances, and snuggle up next to him at home! We took trips to the zoo together, we played at the park, we played basketball and trains. When I started college, Aaron started kindergarten. I used to love to send care-packages and would go home almost every weekend so we could play!

When Aaron was going into 3rd grade my family moved to Canada. It was definitely an adjustment not being close, but I loved the phone calls I'd get from Aaron! We started a little game where at the end of every call one of us would say "I love you" and the other would respond with "I love you more". We'd go back and forth and finally the contest was won when one of us would offer, "I love you to infinity and beyond"! I went home every Christmas and often got to get up to Canada at least 1 or 2 other times during the year. My time with Aaron in Canada are some of my favorite memories. We'd walk to the park/school next door and play basketball, we got to ice skate outside on Christmas, went sledding on any hill we could find, played lots of Gamecube and Legos, and whatever else he wanted! When he was finally old enough we got to go into Calgary and take snowboarding lessons together at the Olympic Park! So many amazing memories and fun times together!

Aaron is now 1/2 way through his senior year and I am such a proud big sister. He is a man of character and integrity and is probably the most disciplined person I know. He is all about working out and taking care of himself physically. He has a big heart and is great with kids, he is a good friend, he doesn't ask for much, he is just an all around good kid! I love watching Jaye and Aaron together and am so grateful for their relationship too! Lately I've enjoyed watching Aaron with Hope. I've told him since she was born that he would be her favorite and that relationship is beginning. Hope loves to sit and watch Aaron play games and loves all the balls and animals in his room! She loves her Uncle "Ayan"! I am so grateful for this gift that God has blessed me with and I love to watch him continue to grow into a man of God! Can't wait to see what God has in store for him and to see the man he will become!

Its Not Always Fun and Games

"So this is part of your job too? You mean you don't always get to play and have all the fun?"

This is a comment I got last night and often get while at work. When we have paramedic students rotate through the Emergency Dept. (ED) they often ask their nurse preceptors about me and my job. They always want to know if I get paid to do what I do. Thankfully, I have a few nurses who know me and my job well and assure those students that yes, this is my job, but I do have my Masters and I do much more than just play all night.

I really do love my job. It is a blessing and gift to love what I do and to be a part of such amazing teams of people! I look forward to going to work most days and leave most days satisfied and content, knowing that I am doing what I was born to do. I know it may seem silly, but I truly feel as though my job is a gift and that God placed me there as He knew it would be a perfect fit for my gifts and passions. A lot of days, I really do get to play most of the day. I hand out toys, ease anxiety, create opportunities for a sense of "normal" to occur for our kids/patients and hopefully get to be a safe/familiar face to the kids throughout their stay with us.

The part of my job that's not so fun occurs when a patient or family member dies. Part of my role, as a Child Life Specialist, is to assist in any way I can. Sometimes this means telling a child that their sibling, parent or grandparent has died. Other times this means doing handprints and footprints of the deceased child and creating a special scrapbook-type page for the family. As much as I love connecting with kids and building relationships, I find it is much easier to do the things listed above for kids whom I am not connected with. A benefit of being in the ED is that most of the kids come and go and I don't necessarily bond with them.

Every now and then, on nights like last night, I find myself deep in thought about how incredibly hard and heart-breaking it must be to come to the hospital one night, thinking your kid is just sick, and then leave the next night without your child and knowing that they will never be with you again. I cannot fathom walking out the doors of the hospital and leaving my child behind and knowing that I will never see them again. I know people do it all the time, but I cannot wrap my mind around ever living life without my sweet girl...and yet, people do it every day.

So yes, I do love my job and I am so thankful for all I get to each day...and on days like today, I am extra thankful for my family who is healthy and well and will fill my heart and arms with love and hugs!!

Lead Me

I love this song! It's been on the radio the last few months and it just resonates deep within me when I hear it. I love that it goes through my head for the rest of the day after I've heard it. Here are the lyrics:

I look around and see my wonderful life
Almost perfect from the outside
In picture frames I see my beautiful wife
Always smiling
But on the inside, I can hear her saying

"Lead me with strong hands
Stand up when I can't
Don't leave me hungry for love
Chasing dreams, what about us?

Show me you're willing to fight
That I'm still the love of your life
I know we call this our home
But I still feel alone."

I see their faces, look in their innocent eyes
They're just children from the outside
I'm working hard, I tell myself they'll be fine
They're independent
But on the inside, I can hear them saying

"Lead me with strong hands
Stand up when I can't
Don't leave me hungry for love
Chasing dreams, what about us?

Show me you're willing to fight
That I'm still the love of your life
I know we call this our home
But I still feel alone."

So Father, give me the strength
To be everything I am called to be
Oh, Father, show me the way
To lead them
Won't you lead me?

To lead them with strong hands
To stand up when they can't
Don't want to leave them hungry for love
Chasing dreams that I could give up

I'll show them I'm willing to fight
And give them the best of my life
So we can call this out home
Lead me, 'cause I can't do this alone

Father, lead me, 'cause I can't do this alone

Hockey Heaven!

Yesterday we went to a "skills showdown" at the Honda Center. This was the 1st year for the event and it was a blast! We found great seats, 4 rows from the ice and Hope was fascinated by her "guys" on the ice! We tried to get one of the guys to throw us a puck during their practice time, but we got crowded out by some rowdy little boys. At the end of the event, Jaye managed to get a puck for Hope as they were cleaning up...she was the happiest kid alive!

Hope was so cute, she kept feeling the puck and telling us it was "cold". She'd show us the ice on the edges and then she kept smelling it. When we asked her what it smelled like she told us "hockey puck". Duh! As we were driving home she said "thank you Daddy"...too cute! She played with her puck the whole drive home and then took it to bed with her for naptime. She took her puck to Grandma and Grandpa's house and this morning she's been taking it for rides on her tricycle!

Before the contest started Hope made it on the jumbotron!