Change

In our little house, it has been a week of change and challenges. On Wednesday we gave Hope’s beloved binks to a baby friend of ours and it has been a tough week ever since. Wednesday’s nap did not happen and in the process of trying Hope mastered scaling her crib. That night involved Hope in bed with us from 4am on and 2 of those hours did not involve sleeping. Thursday’s nap went well initially but then when she was woken up by a phone, she couldn’t settle back to sleep and cried for her bink. Thursday night involved 10 minutes of whining/crying for a bink but she did fall asleep eventually. Friday’s nap also started out well but then after an hour she woke up and couldn’t put herself back to sleep and instead cried and cried and cried. Nothing helped, nothing soothed her back to sleep. She even asked for her bed and just layed there crying….so tired and so sad. I joined her in the crying as there was nothing I could do and I Just felt so horrible. I really wanted to just cave and go get a bink for her as I knew that would solve everything…but I didn’t. Last night bedtime went great as we played “sleeping music” for her. I told her she had to lay really quiet to hear the music and she didn’t make a peep.

Yesterday Hope woke up at 7am (she usually wakes up at 8) and we heard a loud thump. She scaled the crib again and was done sleeping. Jaye worried that she’d get hurt climbing out so we built/put together her “big girl” bed. Thankfully, I have a set of Ariel sheets from when I was younger so she was very excited about her “Ariel bed”. As excited as she was, naptime didn't happen yet again. Jaye managed to keep her in her room for 30 minutes but there was no sleep happening. After lots of stories and rocking with her in the chair, she did fall asleep last night and made it til 5:22 this morning. We haven't been up that early since I was working days-over a year ago! All this change equals little sleep for Hope and in return, little sleep for Mommy. No good at all! A tired Mommy + a tired Hope = long days and grouchiness all around!

As we took apart the crib yesterday, I couldn’t help but feel a bit sad. Since we were taking out the crib and putting in a bed, I figured we might as well remove her changing pad too. All the things associated with my baby were being removed. So, my heart is a bit sad. My baby is growing up and that has proven to be a bit tough for all of us. I always thought it was funny/lame when people talked about being sad that their baby was growing up, but today I get it. I love that she is growing up, I love who she is becoming and the way she learns new things daily…but today reminded me that we can’t go back. She will never be tiny again. My baby is gone and she is becoming a little girl. I’m excited for Hope and all that lies ahead, but boy has this been a week of change. I pray that through all this she finds comfort and security, peace and rest. I find myself praying for her comprehension of all of this change and the ability to grasp the concept of staying in bed, sleeping, and just being able to calm/slow herself enough to even fall asleep. Man, it's tough being little!!!

Again I am reminded to “love the moment” because before you know it, the moment will be gone.

Binks all gone?!

So, I thought I had come up with a brilliant idea last weekend and decided that we'd have Hope give her binks to Baby Addison. I've said that I wanted them gone by the time she was 2 and she is 2 weeks from being 2. Hope loves to give gifts so I thought she'd love the idea of giving her binks to her little friend. On Sunday I asked Hope if we could give Baby Addison her binks. She said "yet" (yes) right away and handed me a bink. I told her that if we give them to Baby Addison they'd be "all gone" and that she wouldn't have any more binks. When I got her out of her crib Monday morning she handed me a bink and said "Give to Baby Adden. Hope have no more." We've repeated this every night and each morning for the past 3 days.

So, today was the day. We put her binks in a baggie and she put them in Baby Addison's carseat with her. I made sure to show her that even her "Turtle bink" from Grandma's house was in there. Hope wanted Addison to use the binks but we told her she was going to take them home for her bed. All was going well...until naptime.

Usually we grab blankie and put her down and she is asleep within 10 minutes. I've had several people comment about how easy she goes down. NOT TODAY!!! She was quiet for 2 minutes and then started shouting "I need a bink. I want a bink. Baby Adden have my bink." (over and over) Then she started crying really hard. When I finally went in to check on her she was ON TOP of her crib, laying across the corner, stuck. I got her down, held her for a bit, and then put her back to bed. Hope proceeded to climb out of her crib and twist the door knob open and walked out...she did this 3 times. I let her play a bit and then took her back to bed, tucked her in, etc. and then put the baby gate across her door. She was quiet for a few minutes and then once again, scaled her crib and then the baby gate. We have NEVER had such a rough time going to bed. So...I gave up. Today is a no nap day apparently and this Mama is worn-out. I am so tempted to just grab a bink and sneak it back into her bed as I know she'd be out within minutes...but I won't.

Hopefully by bedtime tonight she'll be so tired that she won't remember/realize that the binks are gone and maybe tomorrow will be a better day?! One can only hope.

Pictures and sound clips coming soon.

Plans for hope and a future...

"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future." -Jeremiah 29:11

God gently reminded me of this verse tonight as I was leaving work with a heavy heart over one of the kids I spent a lot of time with this evening. I snuggled this little one close and sang over him for almost 2 hours and my heart hurt as he held on so tightly and snuggled in so frantically. I left feeling really discouraged and sad that this little one would spend the night alone and afraid.

So often, no...too often, we get kids through our ED (Emergency Dept) who have sufferred and endured some pretty amazing things. I sometimes wonder what the heck is wrong with people to hurt, neglect, or deprive their own children as I have seen lately. It breaks my heart to see the injustice in our society and the crookedness of our "system". So many kids have been let down by our "system" and have been placed back in unsafe environments due to budget issues or whatever else it may be.

Sometimes I snuggle little ones at work and think to myself, "I could take him/her home"...but the reality is that it just wouldn't work and we are not in a place to do so. I then find myself wondering how else I can help and what else I can do to ensure these kids are safe and out of harm's way. Sometimes I feel really helpless....I feel like there is nothing I can do and I hate the thought that these kids may have to go back to their homes/families some day.

And then God reminds me that He is their creator and that He loves them just like He loves me. I am reminded that He does have a plan for them. That HE has plans for their future and that despite their past, He has plans for HOPE for their lives. I don't get to see what that "hope and a future" look like for many of these kids, but I can cling to that promise for each of them and pray that promise over them and whatever their lives may look like tomorrow, next week, next month, and even in years to come.

So God, tonight I pray for this sweet little one that is heavy on my heart. I pray Lord Jesus that you would wrap your loving arms around him. Lord, would you allow him to feel safe tonight? Would you calm his heart and replace his fear with peace...a peace that surpasses all understanding. Lord, would you protect him and pick out the perfect home for him to go to. Would you carve a spot out for him in a new family, a safe family? I give you my heavy heart Lord. I pray that you would take this burden and carry it for me. Thank you Lord that you do have a plan for each of us, no matter how big or how small we are and no matter what our past may be. He is your child Jesus and You will care for him.

Adventures in Sewing...Doll Stroller Re-do!

Hope loves her babydoll stroller...she thinks its not only a great place for her babies to sit, but for her to sit as well. As a result, the poles poke through the fabric and it no longer holds anyone. I found a tutorial online so we went to JoAnns and she picked some new fabric and I was determined to make a new one!
Basically, I just used the old seat as my pattern and then re-created it and figured out how it went back together!
Most of it went pretty smoothly, until I had to attach the back to the seat...it took me several attempts, but I figured it out finally!
I reinforced the seems and doubled the fabric...I thought it was indestructible, but once Hope sat in it, a seam came undone..gotta reinforce those parts even more...either that or convince her to STAY OUT! I also broke my first needle yesterday just as I was almost finished....go figure!

Now I need a new project! Any ideas or suggestions?!?

Adventures in Sewing...The Beginning.

I got a sewing machine for Christmas. I've been debating on what to make to figure it out and I finally found something that seemed simple enough and would make a great party-favor for Hope's little friends at her birthday this year. The 1st attempt was a flop and isn't usable but the next few I managed to make work and they actually look pretty decent. I still have 2 left to do, but 3 are done. We are doing Buzz for the boys and Ariel for the girls...Hope's 2 favorites! So, for those of you who are parents of "Hope's little friends", just pretend to be surprised at her party!

I've tried 4 times now to load pictures in order, but it just isn't working. So...here's the finished product, a crayon roll, 1st, and then the steps...nice and backwards, but I am over trying to figure out how to load in order.

At least now I know how my sewing machine works and each roll is getting progressively better and done quicker! Can't wait to have them all finished and then move on to my next project, a new seat for Hope's baby stroller!

Zoo!

Yesterday we went to the LA Zoo. It had been 8 months since we were there last and Hope has been obsessed lately with the movie Madagascar. We thought it'd be fun to take her to see all the animals in person. Prior to arriving at the zoo, all Hope could talk about was the giraffes and eating leaves. Every plant and tree we saw, she'd talk about the giraffes eating it. I was anxious to see which animal she'd enjoy the most.
Hope was really excited to see the sheep and pet the goats. After petting a few goats she was done and asked for "somping else". This was the theme throughout the day...we'd look at an animal for a few minutes and then she'd ask to "see somping else". So, on we'd go to the next.
The elephant exhibit just recently opened and it was pretty cool! They have 8 or 10 elephants total, from various parts of the world. The elephants are able to roam freely and there are lots of pools, waterfalls, etc. I think the elephants were my favorite!

At the end of the day, when asked what was her favorite, she said "Yemurs" (lemurs). She watched the lemurs the longest and Daddy was sure to tell her that they were like the ones in her movie. He even sang a little "I like to move it, move it" for her! We had a really fun day together and Hope loved running around and exploring most of all. Our pass expires end of May so we are hoping to get 2 more trips in, 1 with each set of Grandparents!

23 Months

Hope amazes me daily with things she says or does...she comprehends more than I think and picks up a lot of what we say!

-This morning we are watching Mickey Mouse Clubhouse and the episode is all about Minnie's Bow-tique. As she's watching, she comes up and asks for "Hope's bow". I told her I'd look and find one. I found one, put it in her hair and then she tells me "told you Mommy".
-Sometime over the past month she finally mastered using utensils to eat!!! Hooray! She does great with almost anything now and I am enjoying getting to eat with her instead of having to feed her.
-Hope discovered eating whole apples and Cutie oranges this past month and they are her favorite!
-She has officially outgrown her size 5 shoes and is up to a 6 now.
-Her favorite thing to do each day is play on her "paygound". It has been WONDERFUL to have the playset and sandbox in the backyard and we are all enjoying spending time outside together!
-The DVD that plays non-stop lately is Madagascar. She loves the animals and the "big ship". She also loves the baby lemur.
-We take weekly trips to the mall still. She loves her 3 stores: Bear store, Disney store, and Doggie store.
-I gave Hope her first haircut on Friday. She had a few really long pieces in the back and they needed to be cut even with the rest...so I gave her a trim. Much better now!
-We are still LOVING Gymboree! Hope asks for "Dimborine" daily and looks forward to stickers (name tags), bubbles, and the parachute! I think we will move her up a level soon as she is at the top of her class as she is a month over the age limit.
-She is wearing size 3T shirts...CRAZY!!!
-Plans are well underway for her 2nd birthday party. She has chosen "Aryel" as the theme and I am more than happy to plan an Ariel party! I am looking forward to a small party this year...just Hope's 4 little friends and their parents, and then my family and we will stay at home and just let the little ones play together. It should be GREAT!

I'm sure there are lots of other great things she's up to, but those are the big ones!