Five Minute Friday: Here

Today is one of those days where I'd rather be anywhere but HERE.

The day started at 5:30am (the time my son thinks is an acceptable time to wake up) and I knew from the start that it was going to be a long day. It's been one of those days where I swear the kids have been out to make me crazy and get on my every last nerve. They've succeeded. I have been grouchy and tired all day and my attempts at resetting the day haven't worked.

It's been one of those days where I've felt tired and overwhelmed. I should have been cleaning my house as it looks like a tornado touched down. I should've done the dishes since they are piled high on the counter. I should've got more loads through the wash but I still have a mountain of clean clothes waiting to be folded and put away from the last time I decided to tackle the laundry. I should've done a lot of things today, but instead I just wished for a reset, to be taken away from this place, to find peace and quiet...to be anywhere but HERE.

I can't tell you how many times I've check Facebook, Instagram, and e-mail...all attempting to escape the HERE and now. Somehow, reading about other's days and lives lets me escape reality for a bit and pretend that life is not as crazy or hectic. It allows me to zone out for a few minutes and avoid being HERE. Not the greatest way to cope with crazy but sometimes it is so needed. After being followed EVERYWHERE and being whined at, nagged at, told "no", ignored, etc., anywhere but HERE sounds so amazing!

But HERE is where I am. HERE. In the middle of messy and chaotic. In the middle of two kids who are stir-crazy and bored. HERE. HERE in the midst of reality that isn't very pretty or fun on this particular day. But HERE is where HE has placed me and HERE is where I should be. Sometimes it is SO hard to be HERE, to be present in the day-to-day monotony and madness. And yet, even as I write this, I know my attitude needs changing. I know my heart needs to find joy in being HERE, with the amazing kids God has given me, in the house He has blessed us with (no matter how messy it may be), with the life HE has gifted me.

So, HERE I am.

How do you reset when you desperately want to escape being HERE?

Five Minute Friday: Hope

She's 6 years old and full of ideas. Her imagination soars and the sky is the limit. If she can think it, she can create it. There's no telling her that something won't work or is impossible...in her mind, anything is possible if you just believe! Her toothless smile reminds me that she is no longer a little girl, but is growing up. She's the one who made me a Mom; the one who stole my heart with just one glance when I saw her sweet face for the first time. Her heart is made of gold and she is beyond thoughtful most days. She loves her brother fiercely and will forever be his number 1 fan! She picks something she loves and goes all-in, cool or not. She's clever and can come up with just about anything if you give her some paper, tape, and scissors. She can talk a mile-a-minute and sometimes won't stop. She loves Jesus more than most grown-ups I know and really gets what it means to follow Him and love Him. She's got crazy tangled hair that she insists must grow to her waste...much to my dismay. She shows love through pictures and drawings that end up taped all over. She's cautious but daring at the same time. She remembers everything and doesn't miss the little things. She is the queen of sassy pants & bossy boots but thankfully wears them sparingly these days. She's testing her limits and pushing boundaries as she grows but that's how we all learn. She never says "no" to a request for a hug. She'll never be too big to come snuggle in my arms, content to just be together. She's the candy queen and would snack all day long if left to her own devices. She's part mermaid and part fish and can swim laps around anyone I know. She's my favorite girl and will always be my baby, no matter how big she gets.

Oh Lord, this sweet Hope of mine. Hold her and love her and grow her up in You. Fill her each day with strength and courage. Protect her and surround her with Your angels. Keep her focus on You and continue to stir within her a passion for the things You love. Help me to love her better and stronger. Help me to seek to understand and listen to her, even when I'm busy or have heard enough. Use her to do big things Jesus. Use her to influence others and change our world. You have gifted her to us and have entrusted us with her heart and life. Ultimately, she is Yours. We know You have big plans for her and we trust you with her future and her life. Thank you for blessing us with Hope.

Goodbye Kindergarten!

 Today we celebrated Kindergarten graduation!  I can so vividly remember back to last August when my heart was filled with anxiety and fear over my little girl going to Kindergarten. It was so scary to me to think about sending her to school and entrusting her to a complete and total stranger each day! But somehow, God gave me peace the night before and off she went. I dropped her off at that gate, gave her a kiss, and sent her on her way.

Fast forward 10 months and now I find myself sad to see her finish. We were blessed with such an incredible teacher for our girl this year! She loved her so well and really instilled within her a love of learning and school! People questioned why we'd put our daughter in a class where they speak Spanish and why we'd send her to the school that we did. We are so thankful for God's leading and for placing her in the PERFECT school/class for her! It was so fun to watch her grow and see her thrive from day to day, week to week, and month to month. God knew exactly what our girl needed!

Too bad you don't get to keep your Kindergarten teacher for ever! I told her teacher the other day that I wanted to take her with us for the next 12 years. She just laughed. Too bad I was totally serious! So next year we begin again. We will begin praying even now for her classmates and teacher and that God will yet again, orchestrate the best place for our girl as she moves on to 1st grade! (and now we'll also hope and pray that our little guy will get blessed with the same Kinder teacher 3 years from now!

Goodbye Kindergarten and Hello 1st Grade!

One of Those Days...

Today has been one of those days! My usually even-tempered and easy-going 2 year old was up at 6am and proceeded to throw his 1st real tantrum in the middle of Target....all because I told him it was time to go (after we had already spent a good 15 minutes in the Disney infinity aisle). If you were in Target this morning, I'm sure you heard him. He attempted to throw himself out of the cart repeatedly as I was trying to wheel to an out-of-the-way spot. Yep, my kid was THAT kid this morning. I managed to make it out of Target and then he decides to give a repeat performance as I am TRYING to get him into his carseat. It took all my might to get him to actually sit in the seat and then he screamed the WHOLE way home. 

Once home I got him distracted and relaxed and he fell asleep sitting up. He NEVER does that. Of course he fell asleep about 10 minutes before we had to head back out to pick up his sister. (Que the repeat performance of car-seat tantrum) We made it to school and back home, at lunch and then it all began again come nap-time. All I want is quiet and a few minutes to myself today...I usually work on Fridays and today I am off....I almost wish I wasn't. After full-blown screaming from his crib for a good 30 minutes, I think he is finally asleep and now I am completely exhausted.

 

 

 

So far, my 2 cups of coffee were nowhere near strong enough and my Friday has been WAY too long! Here's hoping yours has been WAY better than mine!!!

 

Never Underestimate Your Strength

On Friday night I came across a post on facebook looking for someone to purchase a race-bib for a 1/2 marathon on Sunday. Didn't think much of it. A few minutes later another post popped up saying that someone else also had a bib for sale due to an injury and how 2 friends should run it together. I hurried and sent them both a message to see if they were still available and then shot my hubby a text asking, "Want to run a 1/2 marathon on Sunday?"

My hubby replied with "lol. where?" Long story short, we bought the bibs. We got them for less than half what they had paid and quickly made plans for a babysitter for the kids and arranged a carpool with another couple who were also running the race. Saturday morning we ran the Bubble Run as a family, Saturday afternoon/evening I worked, and Sunday we raced.

Mind you, neither of us had trained to run 13.1 miles. We were individually getting in a run or two a week, maybe 2-4 miles at most. We did a 9 mile race back in early March and it nearly killed us. But...my husband is a great sport and agreed to go for it. We agreed prior to the race that we'd each run at our own pace and then meet at the finish line.

Race morning came, we got dressed and out the door to meet up with our friends. We got there quick and made it to the starting line with plenty of time. I already knew I wouldn't be running with my hubby and quickly learned that our friend were planning on running as much as they could and then would stop when tired. I run intervals. Right now I am at a pace where I run 2 minutes, walk a minute and then just repeat that for whatever distance I am going. Its what works for me.

I had texted with another friend who was at the race and initially she had said she'd do my intervals with me so we could run together. When I met her at the start, she had changed her mind. I knew what worked for me and I knew it was a much longer distance than I was prepared for so I set my mind/body to doing my 2:1 intervals from the beginning.

When running in a big race, everyone starts out strong. The crowd is exciting, its usually pretty cold out and you just feel invincible at the beginning. It is so tempting to go out full-speed, to run your heart out from the get-go. I get it. Stopping to walk 2 minutes into a race feels lame. It feels so weak and stupid. I ran about 5 minutes from the starting line just to gain some space and then settled into my intervals.

Surprisingly, the race was GREAT! I felt good! Sure, it was tiring but not at all as bad as I had anticipated. I stuck with my pace and ended up passing the pacers I started with and made it to the finish line ahead of our friends. Not that any of that mattered at all. I wasn't out there to set records but my goal was just to finish. I was hoping maybe I could make it in under 3 hours but I really had no idea what my time or pace would be as I hadn't trained.

There were a few times I walked through a run interval but for the most part, I felt strong. I finished well and I couldn't help but feel such an amazing sense of accomplishment at my race that morning. Most days I don't feel like a runner. I feel like an imposter, wearing the fun gear. But Sunday, I felt legit. I felt strong. I felt like I was finally back to the running world. Compared to most, I was still pretty slow, but I am so stinkin proud of my time and my race. I was so much stronger than I thought.

So often we underestimate our abilities, we short-change ourselves. It things like my race on Sunday that remind me that I am capable of so much more than I give myself credit for! God has created my body and has made me strong and able to accomplish so much more than I ever think possible! Sunday for me, was a reminder of just how much is possible if I can just set my mind on a goal and not give up. It is so easy to quit, to take shortcuts, to talk myself out of things. But I can do it. HE gives me the strength I  need for each day...whether it be running 13.1 miles or just keeping up with my kids...HE is with me and HE strengthens me.

Five Minute Friday: Hide

My kids love to hide. When they hear the garage door open each night, they immediately go find a place to hide and then wait for their Daddy to find them. My 6 year old has gotten pretty good hiding and staying quite, but my 2 year old...not so much! There is something so exciting in being found, in being discovered, in being sought after!

As grown ups, I think the hiding switches from physical to emotional. I know for me, it is sometimes easier to hide my frustration or hurt feelings than to risk being misunderstood or causing conflict. I am a go-with-the-flow/easy-going person 99% of the time. When that other 1% comes up, it feels so out of character and so scary to speak the truth and voice my opinion or concerns. Hiding feels safer. What if the person on the receiving end chooses not to find the real me? What if they don't really hear what I have to say or understand how I am feeling?

Not that hiding is necessarily the best thing to do, but it tends to be my go-to defense. But what if we surrounded ourselves with people who sought us out, who took the time to truly hear us and know us? What if we became that person to others? Are there people in your life who may be hiding and desperately long to be found?

Rather than be ashamed at an emotion or feeling and hide it, have the courage to let it be known. Have faith that the people you love, really do love and and care for you and want to know the real you, the you that God created you to be...opinions, feelings, and all!

Five Minute Friday: Tomorrow

I love TOMORROW! For procrastinators like me, tomorrow is a wonderful thing! Why do today what you can do tomorrow (or the next day, or the day after that)?! Okay, maybe procrastinating isn't the healthiest habit...

But seriously, I love TOMORROW! I love knowing that tomorrow is a new day. No matter how awful or crazy or hectic today was, tomorrow is a blank slate, a new beginning. "His mercies are new every morning"...tomorrow He'll have new mercies for me. Tomorrow, I can try again. Tomorrow I can make better choices and chose a better attitude. Tomorrow.

My kids are always asking me when we are going to do something... "When do I get to go to Grandma's? Is tomorrow a stay-home day? When is our vacation? When do I get to play a the park?" Sometimes all these big plans seem so far away. But tomorrow? Tomorrow is just one sleep away.

Tomorrow we get to try again. Tomorrow we can choose joy. Tomorrow we can choose gratitude. Tomorrow we can chose to be intentional. Tomorrow we can chose to love deeper and hold someone we love a little closer. Tomorrow we can plan our day a little better. Tomorrow we can chose to eat a little healthier or indulge a little less. Tomorrow we can chose to slow down and savor the moments. Tomorrow...

I love TOMORROW!