One of Those Days...

Today has been one of those days! My usually even-tempered and easy-going 2 year old was up at 6am and proceeded to throw his 1st real tantrum in the middle of Target....all because I told him it was time to go (after we had already spent a good 15 minutes in the Disney infinity aisle). If you were in Target this morning, I'm sure you heard him. He attempted to throw himself out of the cart repeatedly as I was trying to wheel to an out-of-the-way spot. Yep, my kid was THAT kid this morning. I managed to make it out of Target and then he decides to give a repeat performance as I am TRYING to get him into his carseat. It took all my might to get him to actually sit in the seat and then he screamed the WHOLE way home. 

Once home I got him distracted and relaxed and he fell asleep sitting up. He NEVER does that. Of course he fell asleep about 10 minutes before we had to head back out to pick up his sister. (Que the repeat performance of car-seat tantrum) We made it to school and back home, at lunch and then it all began again come nap-time. All I want is quiet and a few minutes to myself today...I usually work on Fridays and today I am off....I almost wish I wasn't. After full-blown screaming from his crib for a good 30 minutes, I think he is finally asleep and now I am completely exhausted.

 

 

 

So far, my 2 cups of coffee were nowhere near strong enough and my Friday has been WAY too long! Here's hoping yours has been WAY better than mine!!!

 

Never Underestimate Your Strength

On Friday night I came across a post on facebook looking for someone to purchase a race-bib for a 1/2 marathon on Sunday. Didn't think much of it. A few minutes later another post popped up saying that someone else also had a bib for sale due to an injury and how 2 friends should run it together. I hurried and sent them both a message to see if they were still available and then shot my hubby a text asking, "Want to run a 1/2 marathon on Sunday?"

My hubby replied with "lol. where?" Long story short, we bought the bibs. We got them for less than half what they had paid and quickly made plans for a babysitter for the kids and arranged a carpool with another couple who were also running the race. Saturday morning we ran the Bubble Run as a family, Saturday afternoon/evening I worked, and Sunday we raced.

Mind you, neither of us had trained to run 13.1 miles. We were individually getting in a run or two a week, maybe 2-4 miles at most. We did a 9 mile race back in early March and it nearly killed us. But...my husband is a great sport and agreed to go for it. We agreed prior to the race that we'd each run at our own pace and then meet at the finish line.

Race morning came, we got dressed and out the door to meet up with our friends. We got there quick and made it to the starting line with plenty of time. I already knew I wouldn't be running with my hubby and quickly learned that our friend were planning on running as much as they could and then would stop when tired. I run intervals. Right now I am at a pace where I run 2 minutes, walk a minute and then just repeat that for whatever distance I am going. Its what works for me.

I had texted with another friend who was at the race and initially she had said she'd do my intervals with me so we could run together. When I met her at the start, she had changed her mind. I knew what worked for me and I knew it was a much longer distance than I was prepared for so I set my mind/body to doing my 2:1 intervals from the beginning.

When running in a big race, everyone starts out strong. The crowd is exciting, its usually pretty cold out and you just feel invincible at the beginning. It is so tempting to go out full-speed, to run your heart out from the get-go. I get it. Stopping to walk 2 minutes into a race feels lame. It feels so weak and stupid. I ran about 5 minutes from the starting line just to gain some space and then settled into my intervals.

Surprisingly, the race was GREAT! I felt good! Sure, it was tiring but not at all as bad as I had anticipated. I stuck with my pace and ended up passing the pacers I started with and made it to the finish line ahead of our friends. Not that any of that mattered at all. I wasn't out there to set records but my goal was just to finish. I was hoping maybe I could make it in under 3 hours but I really had no idea what my time or pace would be as I hadn't trained.

There were a few times I walked through a run interval but for the most part, I felt strong. I finished well and I couldn't help but feel such an amazing sense of accomplishment at my race that morning. Most days I don't feel like a runner. I feel like an imposter, wearing the fun gear. But Sunday, I felt legit. I felt strong. I felt like I was finally back to the running world. Compared to most, I was still pretty slow, but I am so stinkin proud of my time and my race. I was so much stronger than I thought.

So often we underestimate our abilities, we short-change ourselves. It things like my race on Sunday that remind me that I am capable of so much more than I give myself credit for! God has created my body and has made me strong and able to accomplish so much more than I ever think possible! Sunday for me, was a reminder of just how much is possible if I can just set my mind on a goal and not give up. It is so easy to quit, to take shortcuts, to talk myself out of things. But I can do it. HE gives me the strength I  need for each day...whether it be running 13.1 miles or just keeping up with my kids...HE is with me and HE strengthens me.

Five Minute Friday: Hide

My kids love to hide. When they hear the garage door open each night, they immediately go find a place to hide and then wait for their Daddy to find them. My 6 year old has gotten pretty good hiding and staying quite, but my 2 year old...not so much! There is something so exciting in being found, in being discovered, in being sought after!

As grown ups, I think the hiding switches from physical to emotional. I know for me, it is sometimes easier to hide my frustration or hurt feelings than to risk being misunderstood or causing conflict. I am a go-with-the-flow/easy-going person 99% of the time. When that other 1% comes up, it feels so out of character and so scary to speak the truth and voice my opinion or concerns. Hiding feels safer. What if the person on the receiving end chooses not to find the real me? What if they don't really hear what I have to say or understand how I am feeling?

Not that hiding is necessarily the best thing to do, but it tends to be my go-to defense. But what if we surrounded ourselves with people who sought us out, who took the time to truly hear us and know us? What if we became that person to others? Are there people in your life who may be hiding and desperately long to be found?

Rather than be ashamed at an emotion or feeling and hide it, have the courage to let it be known. Have faith that the people you love, really do love and and care for you and want to know the real you, the you that God created you to be...opinions, feelings, and all!

Five Minute Friday: Tomorrow

I love TOMORROW! For procrastinators like me, tomorrow is a wonderful thing! Why do today what you can do tomorrow (or the next day, or the day after that)?! Okay, maybe procrastinating isn't the healthiest habit...

But seriously, I love TOMORROW! I love knowing that tomorrow is a new day. No matter how awful or crazy or hectic today was, tomorrow is a blank slate, a new beginning. "His mercies are new every morning"...tomorrow He'll have new mercies for me. Tomorrow, I can try again. Tomorrow I can make better choices and chose a better attitude. Tomorrow.

My kids are always asking me when we are going to do something... "When do I get to go to Grandma's? Is tomorrow a stay-home day? When is our vacation? When do I get to play a the park?" Sometimes all these big plans seem so far away. But tomorrow? Tomorrow is just one sleep away.

Tomorrow we get to try again. Tomorrow we can choose joy. Tomorrow we can choose gratitude. Tomorrow we can chose to be intentional. Tomorrow we can chose to love deeper and hold someone we love a little closer. Tomorrow we can plan our day a little better. Tomorrow we can chose to eat a little healthier or indulge a little less. Tomorrow we can chose to slow down and savor the moments. Tomorrow...

I love TOMORROW!

Five Minute Friday: Visit

When I think of "visit", I think of the people in my life who I consider to be some of my closest friends. I think of curling up on their couch with a hot cup of coffee and just catching up on life. Usually there are kids present, often running or calling out "Mom, Mommy, Mama", but it doesn't matter. These visits usually take place at one of our homes so we are able to sit and relax a bit because we know the kids are safe and there is plenty of toys and fun to be had. It is these visits with friends that are so life giving and soul satisfying...it is in those moments when I know I am loved and known.

Unfortunately, visits don't happen much around here. It seems there is always work to do, a kid to pick up/drop off, an errand to run, groceries to buy, etc. Life gets busy and those bucket-filling visits get pushed aside. Why is it that everything else seems to come first when in reality, it is the visits with friends, true friends, that give us the most energy, hope and life?!

I find myself often craving visits with my good friends. I find myself daydreaming about just sitting on their couch, hot coffee in my hand and just being present with each other. I miss catching up on life...sharing moments, stories, success & failures. I miss being known. I miss just venting or talking about nothing. I miss connecting. I can think of a handful of people right now that I would LOVE to sit and visit with.

It seems to me that as a Mom, especially one with little ones, visits are WAY too few and far between. What I wouldn't give to sit with one of my favorite friends and just be...be real, be honest, be known, be filled. 

Five Minute Friday: Open

Open hands. Open heart. Open mind.

If we want to be used, we must remain open.  Open to new adventures, new possibilities, to things unseen & unknown, to wherever HE may want to lead us.  It’s scary to truly be open to letting God take your life in whatever direction HE sees fit.  It means unclenching fists closed tightly, letting go of our own hopes, dreams and plans and letting go of ourselves to be able to truly lift up hands that are open in surrender.  Surrender of our own will and our own way, surrender of what is supposed to be or of how we thought things should have gone.

When we open our hands and say “use me”, open our hearts and say “lead me” and open our minds and say “teach me”, we are able to do things we never dreamed possible. When we are open to HIS plan for us we are able to endure what seemed too hard and too painful, and to conquer what once seemed so far out of reach. If we remain open to HIM, we allow HIM to mold us and shape us into something better than we ever could have dreamed.

What is God asking you to let go of or to loosen your grasp on in order to be able to hold up open hands of surrender?

A New Chapter

Monday begins a new chapter for our family. Monday is the first day of my husband’s new job. Monday is the first day of a new routine and rhythm to our days & weeks & months. Monday will be the 1^st day in almost a year that I won’t wake up to my husband by my side and spend the morning doing life together. He will be at work and I will be at home. I will be the one to get the kids up, get breakfast made, and get our oldest to school. Once we do drop off, it’ll just be my youngest and I at swimming lessons. It’ll just be the two of us on a morning walk. It’ll just be the two of us all morning until it’s time for pick up. After pick up it’ll then be the 3 of us. Let’s see how I do at getting homework done, lunch made for the kids, dinner packed for myself, getting ready for work and getting the little one down for nap. And then it’s off to work for me while Grandma hangs out with the kids. It’ll be back to coming home to a quiet house where everyone’s asleep as work and school will begin again in the morning.

I am going to miss him fiercely. I am going to miss being able to tag-team the mornings with him, getting everyone ready as a team. I am going to miss sipping coffee together and planning our days together.  When it comes time to run or walk each day, there will most definitely be a void. Running together has become my favorite thing and favorite part of my day and I am going to miss his company and companionship. It is an incredible thing to run in-sync with someone else…to match your steps and your pace and to just go. No worrying about being too fast or too slow, no worry about impressing the other or having to keep up, but just running and seeing where you end up.

I am going to miss coming home after a night at work and finding him awake and working on projects. I am going to miss talking about the day before we crawl into bed. I am going to miss hearing about his day, what the kids were up to, and how they spent their afternoons. I am going to miss coming home to someone waiting up for me.

I am going to miss the convenience of being able to run errands kid-free or of being able to just take one of the kids with me when we had something to go to. Having us both home gave us so much freedom to volunteer in our daughter’s class, attend meetings, appointments, etc.

I am so grateful beyond what I can express for the past year we have had together. I have fallen more in love with my husband as I have been able to spend time with him and watch him love our family so well. I have gotten to watch him create and design and even involve our kids in the process. I have seen his character and integrity shine and his servant’s heart grow as he has cared for us so deeply. I am so excited for my husband and the amazing opportunity that God has placed before him! I cannot wait to see how God will use him and grow him as he begins his new job . . . but man am I going to miss him!!!