MMR

In 5 minutes I'll wake Hope up and we'll head to her 2-year old check up. As silly as it is, there's a small part of me that is very nervous and anxious as I know we'll be getting her MMR immunization today too. MMR is the one that has had all the controversy and in the past has been thought to be a possible link to autism. I rationalize it to myself and remind myself that kids have been getting this shot for years and years and we all turned out just fine. I know it really isn't a huge deal, but a small part of me still worries. God and I have talked and I have placed my sweet girl in His hands, after pleading of course. Most likely she will be fine and I know she needs this to protect her and I am definitely for vaccinating my child, but there is still a tiny piece of me that thinks, "what if".

So, today I choose to trust that my God is bigger than any poke or immunization. My God created her and cares for her and she is wonderfully made. He has great plans for her life, for hope and a future, and ultimately HE is her Maker and loves her more than even I can fathom. I choose to rest in the confidence that God is WAY bigger than me.

I know many people choose not to vaccinate all together and I am not in that boat...I am just in the "space it out" boat. 1 at a time is great for me, 2 at the most...today, 1 at a time is my max. I want my child to be protected and know that very likely we will end up in another country someday and I want her immune system to be healthy and protected. I just want her body to be immunized slowly, not inundated with too many things at once.

Anyway, had to vent. God is good and my precious baby is His!

Princess Lunch

For Hope's birthday we had lunch with the princesses @ Ariel's Grotto at CA Adventure. We weren't really sure what she would do or if she'd even like it, but we thought we'd try. Each of the princesses stopped by our table throughout our lunch. Hope liked that they were there, but was still intimidated. She glance at them out of the corner of her eye to make sure they were still there, and then she'd go back to focusing on her food. Silly girl! Belle was her favorite as Belle took the time to get down on her level and really connect with her. In the picture above they were making "2" with the fingers. If asked who her favorite was, Hope will tell you, "Bayl".

Snow White was the 1st princess to come by and she tried to connect, but Hope was more interested in showing her the fishies on her mac n cheese. Ha ha!

At last, but not least...my birthday girl, complete with her crown and baby Ariel!

Birthday day @ Disneyland!

On Hope's actual birthday we all took the day off and went to Disneyland together! We started the day by opening presents and eating donuts...it was perfect!!! We'd all been talking about our day for weeks and were so excited to finally go!

So glad Hope cooperated...I love this pic of us in front of the castle!

Hope loves Jessie from Toy Story so she was quite the cute cowgirl!! She had a Jessie shirt and then we got her a hat of her own and a Jessie doll. She looked adorable!!

Hope asked to go on the Matterhorn. It's in one of her movies and she really wanted to go. We told her it'd be dark and that we might see a big snowman. She said she wanted to go, so we went. She did great and only at the very end did she tell me, "all done Mommy". When we got off she told us "I see a big monkey" and she told us, "I like it".

My Baby is 2!

Where have the last 2 years gone?! It blows my mind that Hope is now 2...no longer a baby, but a big girl! It is hard to believe that 1 little person has captured my heart so fully and completely! This same 1 little person can bring out the best in me and the worst in me and loves me either way!

What do I love about my precious birthday girl?!
-I love her hair that gets curlier and curlier each day! I love that she rocks major bedhead each morning!
-I love watching her pretend. All of her figures/characters have to hug and jump together. They hold hands, give kisses, and stand on each other's heads.
-I love her pronunciation of words and the way she phrases things... "Mommy sit you", "M and As", "want sumping", "not maybe", "Dimborine"...
-I love how excited she gets when she hears the garage door open when Jaye comes home and how she announces his arrival.
-I love that she is in love with both Ariel and Toy Story and that Toy Story sheets adorn her big-girl bed!
-I love that she is so excited about drinking lots of a milk from a cup, all by herself.
-I love that she is kind to her friends. She is quick to share and is gracious when toys are taken from her. She is gentle and caring and is usually more than happy to wait her turn so someone else can go first.
-I love that she is starting to respond to interactive TV (Dora, Little Einsteins, Mickey Mouse).
-I love that she is a chocolate monster! She'd eat it all day, every day, if I'd let her.
-I love that she could play in the bathtime all day long! She loves to sit under the running water and play!
-I love that she enjoys the outdoors so much and can't wait to play on her playground or help Daddy in the yard.
-I love the way she announces over and over again our 3 stops when at the mall..."Build-A-Build, Mickey Store, Doggie Store" over and over.
-I love that she is in love with dogs. She loves my parent's dog, Cooper, and Jaye's folk's dog, Daisy. She loves to stick bones through the fence for our neighbor's dogs and loves to watch the dogs at the pet-store and jumps with them.
-I love her laughter! She squeals with delight and giggles with all she is.

My list could go on and on as I think I may love everything about my sweet little girl! I am so excited to celebrate her big day tomorrow with a trip to Disneyland and lunch with the princesses! I'm sure more sappiness will ooze out soon!

PARTY!

Hope turns TWO on Tuesday so we celebrated yesterday with 4 of her favorite friends! She picked "Ariel" for the party so we had all things Little Mermaid! We had no plans other than to play and it was absolutely PERFECT!! It was another one of those days where Jaye and I felt so grateful to be surrounded by such great friends and their amazing kids! Presents were really fun this time around as Hope got really excited! She wanted to stop and open each one and I think she would've played and played in between if we would've let her!
Each of the kids thoroughly enjoyed their cupcakes and we got TONS of great pics of the cutest cupcake faces around!
Hope actually blew out her candle all by herself! We came close to some burnt lips, but she did it without injury!
The sandbox was a hit with everyone...although Hope was the only one who actually got inside!
Here is my birthday girl, sporting her new dress (that I made)! She was so excited about the Ariel decorations! It was such a fun day!!! I wouldn't have wished it any other way!! It was perfect!!

Sleep Struggles

Well, the struggle continues with Hope and the new bed. We are on day 4 of the "big-girl bed" and this is one tired Mommy! Hope LOVES her new bed...for playing! She hasn't mentioned her "binks" she we switched beds so I guess that is the good in all of it....but man has it been a rough few days. Once she falls asleep she does great, but the battle is getting her to stay still long enough to actually sleep. As I watch her try to settle down, my heart gets a bit sad. She really does try...she just can't quite figure out how to slow down. I think the bink is what slowed her down in the past...made her stop long enough to suck at it and then her body was able to quiet itself. The 2 nights I've been with her I've sat at the foot of her bed and gently whispered "close your eyes. Great job. Snuggle blankie. Shhhhhh. Lay down. Its time to sleep. Listen to your music." etc. Just when we think she is finally asleep and leave her room, we hear the door creak open and she asks, "Mommy? Daddy?". I wish we would have thought a bit longer about our strategy and plan before we created all this change. I wish we would have done the bed first and then the binks. Oh well, it is what it is. So needless to say, we are all tired. THanks to her new-found freedom and ability to hop right out of bed, Hope has been up and ready to play or eat around 5:30 the last few mornings. She has no concept of the need to stay in bed and sleep. She used to sleep from 7:30pm-8am...lately she's been sleeping from 9pm-5:30am...NO GOOD! This morning when she woke up I picked her up and took her back to her bed and layed next to her, holding her down and not letting her get up. She just doesn't comprehend why she can't get up. She was so frustrated this morning that she bit my face. I honestly think she didn't know any other way to express herself. Ugh, I hate this! We layed in her bed til 7 and she tossed and turned almost the whole time. When she did finally fall asleep, she didn't sleep soundly and I didn't sleep at all. Going to bed at midnight and waking up before 6am do not mix well for this Mommy...or Hope. Grouchiness all around!

It has been so hard to watch Hope struggle the past week. So hard to see her so frustrated and feeling so misunderstood. When you are 2 you developmentally don't have the capacity to understand vague concepts like staying in bed and waiting for a certain time to get up.

Welcome to growing up Hope..it sure does suck! I'm praying daily that this will all get easier and that she will begin to understand and feel secure in her new bed. We have her party and birthday coming up so soon and it'd sure be nice to all be rested by then...we shall see.

Change

In our little house, it has been a week of change and challenges. On Wednesday we gave Hope’s beloved binks to a baby friend of ours and it has been a tough week ever since. Wednesday’s nap did not happen and in the process of trying Hope mastered scaling her crib. That night involved Hope in bed with us from 4am on and 2 of those hours did not involve sleeping. Thursday’s nap went well initially but then when she was woken up by a phone, she couldn’t settle back to sleep and cried for her bink. Thursday night involved 10 minutes of whining/crying for a bink but she did fall asleep eventually. Friday’s nap also started out well but then after an hour she woke up and couldn’t put herself back to sleep and instead cried and cried and cried. Nothing helped, nothing soothed her back to sleep. She even asked for her bed and just layed there crying….so tired and so sad. I joined her in the crying as there was nothing I could do and I Just felt so horrible. I really wanted to just cave and go get a bink for her as I knew that would solve everything…but I didn’t. Last night bedtime went great as we played “sleeping music” for her. I told her she had to lay really quiet to hear the music and she didn’t make a peep.

Yesterday Hope woke up at 7am (she usually wakes up at 8) and we heard a loud thump. She scaled the crib again and was done sleeping. Jaye worried that she’d get hurt climbing out so we built/put together her “big girl” bed. Thankfully, I have a set of Ariel sheets from when I was younger so she was very excited about her “Ariel bed”. As excited as she was, naptime didn't happen yet again. Jaye managed to keep her in her room for 30 minutes but there was no sleep happening. After lots of stories and rocking with her in the chair, she did fall asleep last night and made it til 5:22 this morning. We haven't been up that early since I was working days-over a year ago! All this change equals little sleep for Hope and in return, little sleep for Mommy. No good at all! A tired Mommy + a tired Hope = long days and grouchiness all around!

As we took apart the crib yesterday, I couldn’t help but feel a bit sad. Since we were taking out the crib and putting in a bed, I figured we might as well remove her changing pad too. All the things associated with my baby were being removed. So, my heart is a bit sad. My baby is growing up and that has proven to be a bit tough for all of us. I always thought it was funny/lame when people talked about being sad that their baby was growing up, but today I get it. I love that she is growing up, I love who she is becoming and the way she learns new things daily…but today reminded me that we can’t go back. She will never be tiny again. My baby is gone and she is becoming a little girl. I’m excited for Hope and all that lies ahead, but boy has this been a week of change. I pray that through all this she finds comfort and security, peace and rest. I find myself praying for her comprehension of all of this change and the ability to grasp the concept of staying in bed, sleeping, and just being able to calm/slow herself enough to even fall asleep. Man, it's tough being little!!!

Again I am reminded to “love the moment” because before you know it, the moment will be gone.