My Baby is 2!

Where have the last 2 years gone?! It blows my mind that Hope is now 2...no longer a baby, but a big girl! It is hard to believe that 1 little person has captured my heart so fully and completely! This same 1 little person can bring out the best in me and the worst in me and loves me either way!

What do I love about my precious birthday girl?!
-I love her hair that gets curlier and curlier each day! I love that she rocks major bedhead each morning!
-I love watching her pretend. All of her figures/characters have to hug and jump together. They hold hands, give kisses, and stand on each other's heads.
-I love her pronunciation of words and the way she phrases things... "Mommy sit you", "M and As", "want sumping", "not maybe", "Dimborine"...
-I love how excited she gets when she hears the garage door open when Jaye comes home and how she announces his arrival.
-I love that she is in love with both Ariel and Toy Story and that Toy Story sheets adorn her big-girl bed!
-I love that she is so excited about drinking lots of a milk from a cup, all by herself.
-I love that she is kind to her friends. She is quick to share and is gracious when toys are taken from her. She is gentle and caring and is usually more than happy to wait her turn so someone else can go first.
-I love that she is starting to respond to interactive TV (Dora, Little Einsteins, Mickey Mouse).
-I love that she is a chocolate monster! She'd eat it all day, every day, if I'd let her.
-I love that she could play in the bathtime all day long! She loves to sit under the running water and play!
-I love that she enjoys the outdoors so much and can't wait to play on her playground or help Daddy in the yard.
-I love the way she announces over and over again our 3 stops when at the mall..."Build-A-Build, Mickey Store, Doggie Store" over and over.
-I love that she is in love with dogs. She loves my parent's dog, Cooper, and Jaye's folk's dog, Daisy. She loves to stick bones through the fence for our neighbor's dogs and loves to watch the dogs at the pet-store and jumps with them.
-I love her laughter! She squeals with delight and giggles with all she is.

My list could go on and on as I think I may love everything about my sweet little girl! I am so excited to celebrate her big day tomorrow with a trip to Disneyland and lunch with the princesses! I'm sure more sappiness will ooze out soon!

PARTY!

Hope turns TWO on Tuesday so we celebrated yesterday with 4 of her favorite friends! She picked "Ariel" for the party so we had all things Little Mermaid! We had no plans other than to play and it was absolutely PERFECT!! It was another one of those days where Jaye and I felt so grateful to be surrounded by such great friends and their amazing kids! Presents were really fun this time around as Hope got really excited! She wanted to stop and open each one and I think she would've played and played in between if we would've let her!
Each of the kids thoroughly enjoyed their cupcakes and we got TONS of great pics of the cutest cupcake faces around!
Hope actually blew out her candle all by herself! We came close to some burnt lips, but she did it without injury!
The sandbox was a hit with everyone...although Hope was the only one who actually got inside!
Here is my birthday girl, sporting her new dress (that I made)! She was so excited about the Ariel decorations! It was such a fun day!!! I wouldn't have wished it any other way!! It was perfect!!

Sleep Struggles

Well, the struggle continues with Hope and the new bed. We are on day 4 of the "big-girl bed" and this is one tired Mommy! Hope LOVES her new bed...for playing! She hasn't mentioned her "binks" she we switched beds so I guess that is the good in all of it....but man has it been a rough few days. Once she falls asleep she does great, but the battle is getting her to stay still long enough to actually sleep. As I watch her try to settle down, my heart gets a bit sad. She really does try...she just can't quite figure out how to slow down. I think the bink is what slowed her down in the past...made her stop long enough to suck at it and then her body was able to quiet itself. The 2 nights I've been with her I've sat at the foot of her bed and gently whispered "close your eyes. Great job. Snuggle blankie. Shhhhhh. Lay down. Its time to sleep. Listen to your music." etc. Just when we think she is finally asleep and leave her room, we hear the door creak open and she asks, "Mommy? Daddy?". I wish we would have thought a bit longer about our strategy and plan before we created all this change. I wish we would have done the bed first and then the binks. Oh well, it is what it is. So needless to say, we are all tired. THanks to her new-found freedom and ability to hop right out of bed, Hope has been up and ready to play or eat around 5:30 the last few mornings. She has no concept of the need to stay in bed and sleep. She used to sleep from 7:30pm-8am...lately she's been sleeping from 9pm-5:30am...NO GOOD! This morning when she woke up I picked her up and took her back to her bed and layed next to her, holding her down and not letting her get up. She just doesn't comprehend why she can't get up. She was so frustrated this morning that she bit my face. I honestly think she didn't know any other way to express herself. Ugh, I hate this! We layed in her bed til 7 and she tossed and turned almost the whole time. When she did finally fall asleep, she didn't sleep soundly and I didn't sleep at all. Going to bed at midnight and waking up before 6am do not mix well for this Mommy...or Hope. Grouchiness all around!

It has been so hard to watch Hope struggle the past week. So hard to see her so frustrated and feeling so misunderstood. When you are 2 you developmentally don't have the capacity to understand vague concepts like staying in bed and waiting for a certain time to get up.

Welcome to growing up Hope..it sure does suck! I'm praying daily that this will all get easier and that she will begin to understand and feel secure in her new bed. We have her party and birthday coming up so soon and it'd sure be nice to all be rested by then...we shall see.

Change

In our little house, it has been a week of change and challenges. On Wednesday we gave Hope’s beloved binks to a baby friend of ours and it has been a tough week ever since. Wednesday’s nap did not happen and in the process of trying Hope mastered scaling her crib. That night involved Hope in bed with us from 4am on and 2 of those hours did not involve sleeping. Thursday’s nap went well initially but then when she was woken up by a phone, she couldn’t settle back to sleep and cried for her bink. Thursday night involved 10 minutes of whining/crying for a bink but she did fall asleep eventually. Friday’s nap also started out well but then after an hour she woke up and couldn’t put herself back to sleep and instead cried and cried and cried. Nothing helped, nothing soothed her back to sleep. She even asked for her bed and just layed there crying….so tired and so sad. I joined her in the crying as there was nothing I could do and I Just felt so horrible. I really wanted to just cave and go get a bink for her as I knew that would solve everything…but I didn’t. Last night bedtime went great as we played “sleeping music” for her. I told her she had to lay really quiet to hear the music and she didn’t make a peep.

Yesterday Hope woke up at 7am (she usually wakes up at 8) and we heard a loud thump. She scaled the crib again and was done sleeping. Jaye worried that she’d get hurt climbing out so we built/put together her “big girl” bed. Thankfully, I have a set of Ariel sheets from when I was younger so she was very excited about her “Ariel bed”. As excited as she was, naptime didn't happen yet again. Jaye managed to keep her in her room for 30 minutes but there was no sleep happening. After lots of stories and rocking with her in the chair, she did fall asleep last night and made it til 5:22 this morning. We haven't been up that early since I was working days-over a year ago! All this change equals little sleep for Hope and in return, little sleep for Mommy. No good at all! A tired Mommy + a tired Hope = long days and grouchiness all around!

As we took apart the crib yesterday, I couldn’t help but feel a bit sad. Since we were taking out the crib and putting in a bed, I figured we might as well remove her changing pad too. All the things associated with my baby were being removed. So, my heart is a bit sad. My baby is growing up and that has proven to be a bit tough for all of us. I always thought it was funny/lame when people talked about being sad that their baby was growing up, but today I get it. I love that she is growing up, I love who she is becoming and the way she learns new things daily…but today reminded me that we can’t go back. She will never be tiny again. My baby is gone and she is becoming a little girl. I’m excited for Hope and all that lies ahead, but boy has this been a week of change. I pray that through all this she finds comfort and security, peace and rest. I find myself praying for her comprehension of all of this change and the ability to grasp the concept of staying in bed, sleeping, and just being able to calm/slow herself enough to even fall asleep. Man, it's tough being little!!!

Again I am reminded to “love the moment” because before you know it, the moment will be gone.

Binks all gone?!

So, I thought I had come up with a brilliant idea last weekend and decided that we'd have Hope give her binks to Baby Addison. I've said that I wanted them gone by the time she was 2 and she is 2 weeks from being 2. Hope loves to give gifts so I thought she'd love the idea of giving her binks to her little friend. On Sunday I asked Hope if we could give Baby Addison her binks. She said "yet" (yes) right away and handed me a bink. I told her that if we give them to Baby Addison they'd be "all gone" and that she wouldn't have any more binks. When I got her out of her crib Monday morning she handed me a bink and said "Give to Baby Adden. Hope have no more." We've repeated this every night and each morning for the past 3 days.

So, today was the day. We put her binks in a baggie and she put them in Baby Addison's carseat with her. I made sure to show her that even her "Turtle bink" from Grandma's house was in there. Hope wanted Addison to use the binks but we told her she was going to take them home for her bed. All was going well...until naptime.

Usually we grab blankie and put her down and she is asleep within 10 minutes. I've had several people comment about how easy she goes down. NOT TODAY!!! She was quiet for 2 minutes and then started shouting "I need a bink. I want a bink. Baby Adden have my bink." (over and over) Then she started crying really hard. When I finally went in to check on her she was ON TOP of her crib, laying across the corner, stuck. I got her down, held her for a bit, and then put her back to bed. Hope proceeded to climb out of her crib and twist the door knob open and walked out...she did this 3 times. I let her play a bit and then took her back to bed, tucked her in, etc. and then put the baby gate across her door. She was quiet for a few minutes and then once again, scaled her crib and then the baby gate. We have NEVER had such a rough time going to bed. So...I gave up. Today is a no nap day apparently and this Mama is worn-out. I am so tempted to just grab a bink and sneak it back into her bed as I know she'd be out within minutes...but I won't.

Hopefully by bedtime tonight she'll be so tired that she won't remember/realize that the binks are gone and maybe tomorrow will be a better day?! One can only hope.

Pictures and sound clips coming soon.

Plans for hope and a future...

"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future." -Jeremiah 29:11

God gently reminded me of this verse tonight as I was leaving work with a heavy heart over one of the kids I spent a lot of time with this evening. I snuggled this little one close and sang over him for almost 2 hours and my heart hurt as he held on so tightly and snuggled in so frantically. I left feeling really discouraged and sad that this little one would spend the night alone and afraid.

So often, no...too often, we get kids through our ED (Emergency Dept) who have sufferred and endured some pretty amazing things. I sometimes wonder what the heck is wrong with people to hurt, neglect, or deprive their own children as I have seen lately. It breaks my heart to see the injustice in our society and the crookedness of our "system". So many kids have been let down by our "system" and have been placed back in unsafe environments due to budget issues or whatever else it may be.

Sometimes I snuggle little ones at work and think to myself, "I could take him/her home"...but the reality is that it just wouldn't work and we are not in a place to do so. I then find myself wondering how else I can help and what else I can do to ensure these kids are safe and out of harm's way. Sometimes I feel really helpless....I feel like there is nothing I can do and I hate the thought that these kids may have to go back to their homes/families some day.

And then God reminds me that He is their creator and that He loves them just like He loves me. I am reminded that He does have a plan for them. That HE has plans for their future and that despite their past, He has plans for HOPE for their lives. I don't get to see what that "hope and a future" look like for many of these kids, but I can cling to that promise for each of them and pray that promise over them and whatever their lives may look like tomorrow, next week, next month, and even in years to come.

So God, tonight I pray for this sweet little one that is heavy on my heart. I pray Lord Jesus that you would wrap your loving arms around him. Lord, would you allow him to feel safe tonight? Would you calm his heart and replace his fear with peace...a peace that surpasses all understanding. Lord, would you protect him and pick out the perfect home for him to go to. Would you carve a spot out for him in a new family, a safe family? I give you my heavy heart Lord. I pray that you would take this burden and carry it for me. Thank you Lord that you do have a plan for each of us, no matter how big or how small we are and no matter what our past may be. He is your child Jesus and You will care for him.

Adventures in Sewing...Doll Stroller Re-do!

Hope loves her babydoll stroller...she thinks its not only a great place for her babies to sit, but for her to sit as well. As a result, the poles poke through the fabric and it no longer holds anyone. I found a tutorial online so we went to JoAnns and she picked some new fabric and I was determined to make a new one!
Basically, I just used the old seat as my pattern and then re-created it and figured out how it went back together!
Most of it went pretty smoothly, until I had to attach the back to the seat...it took me several attempts, but I figured it out finally!
I reinforced the seems and doubled the fabric...I thought it was indestructible, but once Hope sat in it, a seam came undone..gotta reinforce those parts even more...either that or convince her to STAY OUT! I also broke my first needle yesterday just as I was almost finished....go figure!

Now I need a new project! Any ideas or suggestions?!?